Oopsie......

Heh, heh, sorry about slagging you yesterday about the weather, Ontario. We got walloped today.

So I guess I better apologize to Calgary, too, for being responsible for Mom Nature unleashing her fury.

Bleah. What a mess on the way into work.

And everywhere else as well.
Guess I better keep my yap shut after this.

Nah.........

Hey Ontario - Eat My Grits

Or is it Kiss my grits?

Either way, it was +12 and sunny today. Joggers everywhere. Shorts and t-shirts.

What was the weather back at the Centre of the Universe?

Did Ya Hear About This One?

A woman on a flight complained she was having trouble breathing. She asked the flight attendant for oxygen and she was twice refused.

She really started to have trouble breathing and a doctor on the flight took over.

He got an canister to administer oxygen to her, but it was empty. The emergency back up canister was also empty. As her condition worsened, he had to get out the defibrillator. It didn't work.

She died in the air on the plane.

Can you spell l-a-w-s-u-i-t?

Ops, He Did It Again....

This empty net thing is getting quite commonplace. But this was at today's Calgary Roughneck lacrosse game. And, during the middle of the game.

In lacrosse they're not like the scaredy pants hockey players who pull the goalie only at the end of the game. These guys do it all the time. Makes for a pretty exciting game.

And what sporting event would be complete without girls in short skirts and tight tops.

You'll have to take my word for it as they turned the lights down during their "performance". What's up with that?

And here's a scene you don't see very often - a photo of a urinal in the men's room. And I know why, from the stares and uncalled for comments I got taking this.

They now have hi-tech screens that play commercials. And I think they must have some sort of age sensor.
Because as soon as I stepped up to the plate, I got commercials for Viagara and RV's. Other guys got Casinos and Snowboards.

As if it's not bad enough guys of a certain age have to go more often, I get comments like , "Dude, that guy got Viagara again."

He Shoots, He.....

The most exciting play in hockey - the empty net.

Of course, this could have been taken before the game, and I was kicked out before it even started. But then, this guy's hair wouldn't have been standing on end before the game.

[Ed. note: What incredible resolution on that photo.]


Actually, went to the Flames/Red Wings game last night. And the local boys came out on top, 1-0, hence the previous empty net.

And, of course, someone has to shovel up the ice shavings during the periods. Who better to do that than three little girls in short skirts and tight tops.

I wonder what the Zamboni Drivers union thinks about this? I know what 17,000 fans think. Uhhh...based on a sample of one anyway.

[Please go to my Facebook page for the remaining 4,200 snaps of the girls at work. Safety first!]

Alright....Awwwwww

I saw this sign from a distance and thought, great, now I can get in that Plus 15 system. Assuming it's not locked.

But......when I hobbled over there, great. In little print "Use Building Main Entrance". Thanks a lot, you morons. I'm surprized they didn't have a little smiley face there, too. The sign should say "No Access to the Plus 15".

Who writes these things? Some cynical, sarcastic grump, like me?

Say It Ain't So

We're having a provincial election out here in cowboy country and the local Liberal candidate opened up his riding office in the condo next door. Is this the year I switch horses?

I'm p'd off at the Conservatives out here, mainly because of the pathetic health care system and my inability to gorge myself at the trough of public dollars to fix my aching knee. Although the Premier, Ed Stelmach, is promising billions of dollars to fix everything.

So I am sersiously considering, for the first time, not voting Tory.

Because as one local pundit put it, if you vote for Ed you can be sure of one thing, he's going to spend your money.

Of course, he went on to say the Liberals will spend even more of your money. And the NDP will spend way more. And the Greens? You won't believe how much more of your money they will spend.

So, I'm almost back to voting Tory again. Sigh........

Nuts

We had an incredible sunset tonight in Calgary.

Misty, almost foggy bands stretched across the sky, with crimson waves in the background from the newly extinguished sun. While in the foreground thousands of glistening lights winked as us.

Or, with my camera, some fuzzy clouds with several closer splotchy blobs.

Too Much Time In Jail?

This fellow was wrongly convicted of murdering a young girl and spent over half his life in prison. Upon his release he is seen here discussing his interests with his attorney. She is clearly enthralled.

But let's zoom in on the topic of their discussion.
Using photo enhancement techniques seen on shows such as CSI Miami and the blog Northern Perplextions, you can clearly see that they are looking at.... uhhh...well.....a magazine.

Okay, let's enhance this photo a little further.

There. Clearly they are looking at his Hot Rod Magazine. Perhaps he is inviting her for a ride.

Perhaps not.

Velly Cleva

I don't know about you lot, but Calgary has introduced a pretty hi-tech pay parking system.

So you key in the amount of time you want and your licence plate number. Using your credit card or cell phone.

With that info, the Meter Maids drive by with a licence plate scanner, the computer checks to see if that plate has parking time against it. If not, the computer sends a ticket to your house. Next car, please.

I've seen this in action. All she does is drive slowly up and down the streets. Ka-ching, ka-ching.

Which Is It, Umberto?

Ya can't have it both ways....

What's Wrong With This Picture?

No gloves!!

Woo hooo!! We made it up to zero today. Let the bells ring!

She Didn't Stand A Chance

Local Calgary girl, Feist was up for five Grammy's, but that Brit, wild woman Amy Winehouse took them all.
Nowadays, it's not enough to be talented, cute and smart. Today's rock star has to have a lot more going for her.

Feist will obviously have to pick up her act a bit.

Have you ever been in rehab? No...? Hmmmm......
Have you recently been arrested for drunken driving? No?! Sheesh.
Hey, are you wearing underwear? Come on, get with the program.

Good Canadian girl doesn't stand a chance.......

I Got News For Ya.....

....that ain't ice.

How's That Working For Ya?

Here is a nice little restaurant, tucked in.....the alley between two high rise condos (mine and my neighbors). I guess this guy never heard of the expression "Location, location, location."

A better view of his "location" below.
But really, where else in a city this big can you get that kind of privacy?

Hmmmmmm?

....just how much whiz is in there anyway?

Ahhhh....

So inspite of my earlier, and incessant, whining about not getting into the Plus 15, I finally did.

Blech.... And I'm glad I was able to get above it all.

Of course, not without first running into some of my friends in there [Oh, here he goes again.]

Some of Calgary's most vulnerable citizens were hunkered down having a bit of a party. Four of them, two guys and two girls, were drinking and smoking and carrying on having a great time. While the rest of us were at work.

One of the girls called out to me, "Ya gonna take our picture, honey?". Darn it , I was just about to, but then skittered off like a scaredy Eastern boy.

But I'll be back. Later on.... Pretty likely...if that's okay.

See...I'm Not Paranoid

Front page of today's paper, our deterioating safety situation is getting lots of attention. And which district is leading the pack, from the wrong end?
The Beltline?! Are you kidding me? Sure, that's a terrible area. But look a little north - I'm in a worse area. Literally on the wrong side of tracks. It's just a little sliver of depavitude, but it's ours. Drugs, murders, booze, stabbings. We got it all, baby!

Anyway, I just keep my eyes open whenever I'm out. Banging on doors trying to get into that Plus 15 system.

Balls This Big

You really haved to wonder how some people can look at themselves in the mirror each morning.

Here is a story of a guy who kills a kid at over 100 mph with his Audi A8. Then he sued the dead teenager's parents for $30,000 to pay for the damage to his Audi!

Now for some strange reason, it looks as though he's dropped his lawsuit. What a great guy.....

Good Move, Einstein!

To help cope with the bitterly cold winters here in the Heart of the New West, they have built interconnecting pathways between downtown buildings 15 feet above ground. It is called the "Plus 15" system.

Being a sissy Eastern boy, I use it everyday to get to work during winter.

You may have read we have had an entire week of frigid, bitingly cold weather. So what have I encountered everyday this week at my entrance to the "Plus 15" system?

"Due to extreme weather, lobby doors are closed." What?

You freakin' morons! It is because of extreme weather that the freakin' Plus 15 system was built! Who runs this city?

Sorry, but when you read this at 6:30 a.m. and it is -40, you get a bit pissed off!

The note goes on politely to say that hotel guests may use the parkade but Plus 15 access must....wait til it gets warmer, I guess. So I had to run around yanking on doors all over the place to find one that might get me inside.

I finally found one, but wasn't in a good mood by this time. So I kicked the homeless guy lying outside. That made me feel a little better.