Who needs expensive gravestones or urns when an 8 1/2 x 11 foolscap and some tape will do?
Brilliant!
Thoughts that Arnotti
Who needs expensive gravestones or urns when an 8 1/2 x 11 foolscap and some tape will do?
Brilliant!
Way to go, guys!
Let's see, Ontario has just under 15 million souls. And just over 11 million are of drinking age.
So that would mean the average Ontarian would have returned....carry the 4, divide by something....150 containers each last year.
Okay, so that's not as impressive as I originally thought.
That's like one container every two or three days. What? Who are these pikers?!
The guy in the picture - God bless his average upping soul - has at least 200 in that bag alone. And I bet he comes in every day.
Those numbers are bogus. It should be 1.7 Trillion. Now that's something to be proud of.
By now just about everybody has heard of Caitlin Clark. The Iowa Lady Hawkeye's - and all of college basketball's - super star.
She went first overall last night in the WNBA draft to the Indiana Fever.
Well she was on Saturday Night Live (full disclosure: no longer a fan of SNL. Or women's basketball) and made a surprize appearance on Weekend Update.
Apparently the current host, Michael Che has been taking cheap shots at women's basketball all year.
So I guess Ms. Clark came on and gave better than she got.
And that would be Chicago's former mayor Lori Lightfoot.
And how do we know she was the former worst mayor in America?
It's almost impossible for an incumbent to lose the Chicago mayor's race.
I guess they figured who better to know a crummy mayor when they see one.
But in Lori's defence, the new mayor is even worse.
And another adage I - and my buddies - are trying to follow.....
A divorce lawyer for $349?
Hot damn! I'm a gettin' me a Dee-vorce!
Of course, if you can only afford a $349 divorce lawyer, you know it ain't gonna end well.
Well, for one of you anyway.......
Like this guy in today's paper.....
There's an easier way.
Nah. I'm just dreaming.
But it is easier for the police this way.....
The Liberals want to revise Election Law and delay the next Canadian election by 1 week. From October 20th, 2025 to October 27th.
They say this is so it does not fall on Diwali, the five day Hindu Festival of Lights.
But it also means many of the - very likely doomed - Liberals elected in 2019 will magically pass the six year threshold - by one week - to ensure they get their lifetime gold-plated pensions at 55.
Although I'm sure the Liberals would have no qualms about switching election dates to court the Hindi vote, methinks the above is a more compelling reason.
But I agree they should change the Election Law - so they don't get gold-plated pensions for life after serving only six years! Talk about your government waste.
I'm tempted to take a page out of Mr. Boffo's book......
Scottie's earnings this year are just under 11M$. So if the caddie earns about 10%, Scottie's caddy's earnings are ~1M$.
Now let's see where Rory is.
Look down the PGA Money List.
Down...down...down....there he is. 61st!?
Rory's earnings are $798,000.
Ouch.
Good Canadian boy Nick Taylor is 12th. Who saw that coming?
Maybe Rory was one of the guys in yesterday's post.......
...or at least for Toronto.
Now this headline is a little misleading.
What the police actually recommended was leaving your car keys by the door, not outside. So when thieves break in they don't ransack the whole house - or your family - looking for the car keys.
I would also suggest putting your cash and jewelry there as well. Why take a chance.
But that is a pretty pathetic solution to an epidemic of armed home invasions. Because these 15 & 16 year old kids are all carrying guns (how can that be? Toronto is a gun free zone. Don't those boys know that?)
Maybe not. But this is what they do know;
1) Toronto police are not doing much to catch them,
2) if they do get caught, our justice system - because they are juveniles (and gang leaders know this too) - they will get a slap on the wrist.
3) they will make a lot of money.
Maybe people should recommend that the police do their job and catch these guys and lock up!
In fairness, they don't get much support from the Toronto's progressive city council. Where a lot of the councilors still want to defund the police budget even more.
We need to get back to the tough love justice system!
P.S. Okay....they corrected their mistake.
But this sounds even worse. Pretty pathetic......
Oh my Sweet Mother Mary!
Can we get any more embarrassing?
If it isn't enough to lower entrance standards to get into, say, medical school (what do you call the guy that finishes last in his medical school graduation class? "Doctor") now the sweet darlings are coddled even more in high school - if that's even possible.
I guess this guy's invited to the grad ceremony as well.....
This is a picture from 40 years ago of all the young dudes auditioning for roles in Francis Ford Coppola's film The Outsiders.
Can you guess who they are?
So here is a publicity snap for the movie a couple of years later.
Does this help?
.......do do....do do...do do...do do (Final Jeopardy theme music)
Okay, here you go......
When I was 15 I was trying to make a bong out of a corn cob pipe.
He's trying to get his PGA Tour card.
In a similar vein......
A husband notices his wife hasn’t been answering him when he talks, so decides to talk to the family doctor to see what’s wrong.
“Doc, I think my wife is going deaf,” he explains when they arrive.
It’s something the doctor has seen many times before and he comes up with a simple routine to test the wife’s hearing.
“Stand some distance away from her and ask her a question,” he tells the man. “If she doesn’t answer, move a little closer and ask again. Keep doing this until she answers. Only then will we be able to tell how hard of hearing she really is.”
The man stands about 20 feet away and asks her; “Sweetie, what’s for dinner?”
No answer.
He walks closer and asks again; “Honey, what’s for dinner?”
Still nothing. Now he's concerned.
He moves to just three feet away and asks her again. "What's for dinner?"
She turns to him and says, "Oh my goodness, pork chops. That's the third time I've had to tell you."
In another similar vein......