
Saturday, 25 July 2009
Friday, 24 July 2009
Thursday, 23 July 2009
And The MRI Winner Is......

Went to see my doctor to get the results of my lumbar spine MRI.
She came in with a nice, painted on pained smile.
Your back is pretty messed up down there, she said. It's completely arthritic, each of your lumbar vertebrae are degenerative and your lower disk is herniated. On both sides, pinching the sciatic nerve.
I said, whoa..... there's gotta be some good news, there, Doc.
She said, the good news is if you were fifty pounds heavier, you wouldn't be able to walk.
I said, I hate to burst your bubble there, Doc, but that sounds like bad news.
She said, I haven't gotten to the bad news yet. The bad news is, it's only going to get worse.
So that was a lot of info to take in in thirty seconds.
I asked if there isn't anything they can do.
She said, there is a shot that would help.
I asked, like cortisone or ibuprofen?
No, she said, uhhh....22 calibre.
Well, she was thinking it. Her eyes said, why don't you save us all a lot of trouble over the next thirty years and just get under that next bus.
Scene Of The Crime

She said, surgery is an option, if you'd be interested. I nodded.
I'll refer you to an orthopaedic surgeon, but honestly, don't hold your breathe. He'll likely take one look at this say no need to even see this guy.
Well, Doc, thanks for the uplifting conversation.
And away I went to look for that 22 calibre.
Sunday, 19 July 2009
Somebody Must Really Like Sushi
Good Indian Food?

Now don't go getting all "that's stereotyping" on me. There is a reason for stereotyping.
And most cabbies I talk to all know this place.
The King Palace is half a block from my palace. And it's not good Indian/Pakistani food, it's great food. If you like burning your tongue off.
[Ed note; one significant hole in the author's story. Anyone who knows him, knows he takes a cab as often as the Leafs win the Stanley Cup.]
[Author's note: Bite me. It's a good restaurant.]
Saturday, 18 July 2009
Outed And About

Lots of gay (sorry) and festive pubs here.
And in case you are wondering; no, we didn't go in Zelda's Groovy Room, on the left.


But a guy stumbles up to us and asks, "Can I have some change?"
I pat my pockets and mumble, "Don't have anything."
"Then how 'bout a hug?"
And then he proceeded to try and give me that hug. Yikes. Not that there's anything....yes there is.

Don't Sugar Coat It

And while we're doin' it, it'll feel like you're getting branded.
Uhhhh...lemme get back to you on that...
Out And About

Last night did a quick crawl through the gaybourhood. Mid week at midnight and all the joints are hopping. Sat on a few patios and enjoyed the scenery.
Was really hoping the Google Street View car wouldn't drive by, while I was sitting on a patio with a guy in that neighbourhood. "I didn't know Jim was...."
Not, of course, that there's anything wrong with that.




With reference to the lad - pointing out where he will rest assured?
Friday, 17 July 2009
Monday, 13 July 2009
Oxymoron?

I don't know. But this kinda takes the mirco out of brewery.
Now I like beer as much as the next guy. [Unless, of course, the next guy is my buddy Mike. Oh yeah, or Rob. Or Jimbo. Or Mr. P Or.....]
Okay, so I don't like beer all that much.
But this just doesn't feel right.
Although being the charitable fellow that I am, I'll wait to pass judgement until I have completed a thorough evaluation.....
And hey, guess who's coming for a visit? Feel like a beer, Mike?
Sunday, 12 July 2009
We Don't Need No Stinkin' Sun!

Went to the Argos game yesterday. And the weather wasn't the only thing that sucked.
But we had a good time out and about with the boys before the game. Here things are just getting underway.
{Pay no attention to the fellow on the right. He's just......checking the tires.]

Good grub, good guys and good grog. And the boys in blue were no where to be found. I thought we'd be carted off in no time, for violating likely six or seven rules at the same time.
Drinking in public, cooking in public, peeing in public (that's not what he was doing), add your own ridiculous and typically Toronto bylaw infraction here.


Oh yeah. The beer was cold.
Entrepreneurial Spirit?


....or the Toronto Western Hospital has too many customers going out the back door.
P.S. At 2 am in the Emergency Room, you see a lot of really weird cats shuffling around in there.
The ER has armed guards, and they had to buzz me in to the MRI section and even then, I had to wait in an empty room til they came and got me. Felt like I was in scene from Blade Runner.
Friday, 10 July 2009
Takin' A Bite...

Went to NYC to see the Jays (get whupped by the Yankees) at New Yankee Stadium.

Seats right behind home plate there are $2,500! We weren't behind home plate.





I always thought the Bronx was an old, burnt out, crime ridden neighbourhood. But they have done an excellent job of cleaning up all parts of the city.
And if you are going with the locals, they know the good spots.
Arrrrgh, The Devil!

[Ed. note: for reader's with a squeamish disposition, disturbing mental images ahead.]
I wish these freakin' toilets in the airports would just leave me alone.
As we all know, the job's not finished til the paperwork is done, and every time you....uhhhh....lean over to get the job done, the damn thing flushes.
Which leaves my tender tushy all wet and woolly.
I pull out some more paper to towel off and, Whooooshhh! there she goes again.
So I pull out some more paper to towel off and, Whooooshhh! there she goes again.
And again, and again.
So I solved this problem. But from now on, I wouldn't want to be sitting next to me on any plane.
Thursday, 9 July 2009
Thursday, 2 July 2009
Day 12!!!

Call in the army!
So this picture of two smelly bags doesn't really say the whole picture. Or maybe it does.
Because this is near my building, and as we have always paid private haulers to take away our garbage - they do it without fail. So this strike hasn't affected me one iota.
None, not one, of those 24,000 CUPE staff do anything for me. Except give me heart burn.
However, many letters to the editor of the Star are actually in support of the strikers. And most
One columnist proposed that like, health care, the CUPE jobs are far too important to entrust to the private sector, which, she claimed, got us into this economic mess to begin with.
Hmmmm......but what about food?
Food is very important. Why shouldn't the government be running all the grocery stores.
"I got an appointment to get my groceries next Thursday at 2pm! Better not be late."
"I'm on the waiting list for a nice roast. Should get it in a couple of months."
In a pinch, you could always go the Emergency Grocery Store. Of course, with a four hour wait, you'd have to be pretty hungry.....
Sheesh. Give your head a soak.
[Ed note: this ends our regularly scheduled rant.]
Wednesday, 1 July 2009
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)