....not me.Went to see my doctor to get the results of my lumbar spine MRI.
She came in with a nice, painted on pained smile.
Your back is pretty messed up down there, she said. It's completely arthritic, each of your lumbar vertebrae are degenerative and your lower disk is herniated. On both sides, pinching the sciatic nerve.
I said, whoa..... there's gotta be some good news, there, Doc.
She said, the good news is if you were fifty pounds heavier, you wouldn't be able to walk.
I said, I hate to burst your bubble there, Doc, but that sounds like bad news.
She said, I haven't gotten to the bad news yet. The bad news is, it's only going to get worse.
So that was a lot of info to take in in thirty seconds.
I asked if there isn't anything they can do.
She said, there is a shot that would help.
I asked, like cortisone or ibuprofen?
No, she said, uhhh....22 calibre.
Well, she was thinking it. Her eyes said, why don't you save us all a lot of trouble over the next thirty years and just get under that next bus.
Scene Of The Crime
...Oh well, could be worse. Could be a lot worse. She said, surgery is an option, if you'd be interested. I nodded.
I'll refer you to an orthopaedic surgeon, but honestly, don't hold your breathe. He'll likely take one look at this say no need to even see this guy.
Well, Doc, thanks for the uplifting conversation.
And away I went to look for that 22 calibre.
6 comments:
Yikes. I have a shotgun.
You could always come over to my house this winter and just stand behind me when I shoot myself!!
I certainly appreciate small acts of kindness from others.
I guess this is going to cut into some of your "other" activities...? Hey, if that's your xray film, you're looking pretty hot 'dere.... :-) Hang in there buddy!
Pat
Ouch! May explain some of the results from past Home Alone contests. I wonder if Mike has anything to offer? Keep a stiff lower vertebrae or whatever and no lifting! (or farting)
Makes me thankful it's only my knee. Have you tried an inversion table for relief?
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