Ahhhh......

.....that's better. Beer, and lots of it, at a sports bar. One I hadn't been to for several years. [Uhhh...someone put that coffee on the table by mistake.]

Great bar, great location, next to the Air Canada Centre. And on the way over I saw huge lines of girls waiting outside the ACC. For a concert I guess.

I asked our little waitress who was playing at ACC. She said, the New Kids On The Block. I said, oh, aren't you going? Her eyes widened and she looked at me as if I'd asked her, are you near death?

I guess the girls in line were really women and those women were really my age. And I, apparently, am near death.

{Ed note: I guess I need to work on the shutter settings of my fancy new phone/camera thingy.]

And yes, that is a shot of the Jays losing. So all is well with the world again. Now I just have to wait for the Leafs to start losing. Won't be long.

Pay no attention to the follically challenged forehead at the bottom. Couldn't be a friend of mine.

How come he isn't at the New Kids concert?

I See........

Okay, so I checked out the options on my new phone/camera. Fairly sophisticated new phone I have here.

Whereas my old Motorola...piece of crap...had zoom and indoor/outdoor adjustments, etc., here are the specs of the new, much more expensive, baby:

Zoom: None
Timer: None
Brightness Options: None
White Balance: None
Quality: None
Color Tones: None
Shutter Sound: None
Fun Frames: None
Messaging Add Ins: None

I queried their website "How do I change the camera resolution on my Instinct?

Answer: There are no configurable options available to change the camera resolution on the Instinct handset. Pound salt, you loser. [One of those statements I added.]

Obviously the Marketing Department didn't write the FAQ section.


That reminds me of a Calvin and Hobbes cartoon when they are doing a safety check before tobogganing down "Deadman's Peak";

Seat belts? None
Steering? None
Brakes? None.

Great, let's go!

They're Supposed To Be Your Friends

So how come they're jacking up the price on ya? See, it's not just us big, bad Western oil boilers.

What's that? Who do they buy their gas from? Uhhh....never mind. I don't know. Delete, delete.

Bungee Cowboy

No sooner do I move to Toronto than I head back to Alberta. This time to gorgeous Kananaskis, west of Calgary and south of Banff.

We had rain the day before, so here the clouds are lingering low over the mountains, reluctant to leave this beautiful country.

Good Advice

This isn't something you like to see while wandering in the Kananaskis countryside. Bear in area? But now several other questions quickly come to mind.

Which area? The area behind me? A big bear? A hungry bear? A big, hungry bear?

But if you look closely, they provide some very good advice - do not give the bear flowers! Who knew. That's okay, I've always believed in the old adage that candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.

Shhhhhhhh....

Sights during the rain we had, mentioned in the earlier post. The low clouds blanketing and muffling all sounds (even the sounds of that damn bear eating people).

As I stood watching for several minutes, the clouds rolled down the hills, like a huge, slow motion wave.

Almost spooky, but tranquil at the same time.

Maybe this new phone-camera-thingy is not so bad.

I'm Back, Baby!

But my new neighbourhood looks no better than the last.

This is the greeting outside my building. They might as well have posted a sign saying "Get Lost".

So my building has no visitor parking and obviously not much parking near by. So if you are coming for a visit - take the train......

{Ed. Note: photo taken with new camera phone thingy. Can you spot the difference? I better be able to for what I paid for this new piece of crap.]

Time To Go

And not a minute too soon.

The blogger formerly known as Urban Cowboy will soon be only Urban, as I am moving back to Toronto.

Now I know Toronto is not perfect, but I can't believe we are getting guys popped in broad daylight outside a Timmy's (just in behind the red arrow, as shot from my balcony) - and across the street from my own grocery store, for crying out loud!

Which is what happened at noon earlier this week.

Luckily, it is just druggies offing other druggies. But what I'm worried about is, if they are all hepped up on their Mary-gee-wanna, their aim might not be so good.

Just kidding about the Mary-gee part. It's crystal meth and crack that are king in Cowtown. And those are the guys that are freaky. The easy money in this city attracts a seamy underbelly of guys who've never had this much money in their lives. Or this much drugs.

So good time to be heading out. I'll miss a lot about the city, but not everything. But soon it will be time to start bellyaching about Toronto, that piece of crap communist city masquerading as cosmopolitan. Gimme a break.

But until then, I'm going on hiatus. Yehaa, y'all. UC, soon to be U.

I Bet The Clock Is Ticking......

...til the wrecker ball gets this cool little place just off the Red Mile, in Calgary [see next post for more on the Red Mile].

Now these are the type of druggies Calgary needs more of. These guys have probably never shot or stabbed anybody.

But, like all neat architecture in this city, it will likely be gentrified before too long.

Luckily, I'll be gone first.

El Paso, Texas?

Nope.....

San Pedro de Marquis, Dominican Republic? Nope.....

The Red Mile, Calgary? Yup.

Who'd a thunk it? Cool little church right off the Red Mile [1]. I was half expecting Clint Eastwood to saunter out, glare and start firing.

[Ed. Note 1: The Red Mile is the mile or so of bars leading from the Calgary Saddledome, where the Flames play hockey, to even more bars.

Since all good Flames fans wear red jerseys during games, this mile long stretch became a sea of red after every playoff game. And then a sea of pee and then a sea of hurl. Subsequently, this year it was a sea of blue, as the cops shut down all fun.

Actually, the Flames essentially did this themselves, by losing in the first round.]

You Had Me At Detox Body

.....with an Ionic Footbath? Where have you been, Pham Spa?

I suspect there'd only be about half of me left after removing all toxins, but if that what it takes.....

Now that I think of it, there are several of my friends (and you know who you are, HA boys) who would also have less junk in their truck after a Pham Spa session.

We should add a session to next year's closing ceremonies.

Fish & Relatives....

...as the joke goes, both start to smell after three days.

I think this "visitor" is well beyond that threshhold.

50-50.....

...are the chances of this little guy lasting til the winter.

"Big boys to the left."


"Big boys to the right."

"Tear down, re-build,
Fight, fight, fight".

I guess I shouldn't be so high and mighty, anti-growth, as I live in one of those big behemoths in behind there.

Yeah, it's so easy to criticize others.

Maybe that's what I'll do today......

Don't Do It!

Don't tell me this beautiful limestone schoolhouse is done.

Hopefully they're just doing some heavy duty landscaping - ha ha, gulp - but with this city and their preservation efforts, you can never tell.......

Delicious or Disgusting?

Hmmm...some uncooked fish for lunch. Obviously wasn't listening very well when asked to go out for a bite on Friday.

Let's see, what do we have?

Well, there's some standard raw tuna in the front there. Okay......

Then some.....sea urchin to the left (looks like someone's tongue - but tasted worse). Then something with a real bite to it, hidden in some rice above that. Should sushi sting your mouth?

Next was some bright orange fish eggs, again hiding something with a big tail sticking out the end.

Below that, whatever this was was so vile it had to be completely hidden inside some....some....something.

Oh, and not delivered yet was a delightful plate of eel. Guess it took them a while to round them up from.....the eel pit, I suppose.

Obviously not everyone had the same opinion of the meal as I did. Slurp, slurp.

Now, what is this unusual green paste?

Some cool mint to cleanse my palate?

Those aren't pillows!!

Yowza! Wasabi!! Bring on the tea - and lots of it. And don't mistake it for that black bowl of death beside it, either.

Did you say there was a Wendy's near by?

Yowza!

What a sunset out here - you'd think the Rockies were on fire.

Visiting a friend's farm outside of Calgary.

Not a bad shot for my piece of crap little camera thingy.

Of course, some joker on a blog farther down the dial will likely post something ten times better. And may even have the gall to show my little snap beside his.

Sheesh. Can't ya let the little fellas have their day?

And here is an industrial strength water slide into the pool. You don't want to miss the water, as you'll have worked up quite a head of steam by the time you hit the bottom.

They shore build everything big out here.

I Don't Believe It!

What have we here?

A whimsical mural of idyllic summer life. Dad grilling on the 'que.

Mom serving drinks to all the guests. It all looks fine.

But is it?

She's wearing socks and sandals!?! Even the dog is shocked.

It's bad enough if you are brain dead one day and do this by mistake. But to deliberately draw it this way......

If it's so cold that you must wear socks, then don't be wearing sandals. If you say, but my sandals are my most comfortable shoes, then you need to be buying better shoes.

And it's not just middle aged Euro-geeks who do this [and go to
Socks & Sandals.com to see some real pros].

But I was on vacation and a girl in her 30's was walking on the beach wearing her bathing suit...with Teva sandals...and black socks!! I poked the person beside me, am I seeing this right?!

The girl must have had ESP, because shortly after this she removed her sandals and then, quite reluctantly I bet, her black socks.

What's makes people do this?! And how do we get them to stop!?

[This ends our regularly scheduled ranting.]

Ontar-iar-iar-io

Just returned from a trip to Ontario cottage country.

Ahhhh.....and a beautiful sunset. Courtesy of friends who invited me up for the weekend. Thanks B&J.

Sittin' out at midnight with your shorts on (or not....). Can't do that too often out in Urban's neck of the Western woods.

Humidity? Bring in on, dude.

Sun & Fun

Next morning went for a tour of Lake Kashiwigimog (casha-who? ....never mind) with Captain Big Joe at the helm.

A beauty day.

Although my knee and I declined, the younguns got up on the water skis later in the afternoon.

While the adults concerned themselves with more.....uhhhhh....adult pastimes - but not while boating, of course, ossifer!

So True...

Posted in kitchen at aforementioned cottage.