Oh Boy! Don't Get Me Started..... Again

So no sooner had the city laid down beautiful pavers all along Yorkville Avenue this fall (and how much did that cost?)....

...than they are ripping them all out again. What?

One by one.

By hand.

I asked the supervisor, what happened?

The darnedest thing.  Seems they forgot to put enough sand in between the pavers.

[Now I would have thought that would have been pretty near the start of "Laying Pavers 101", but I guess I would have thought wrong]

So with the winter, they have now shifted and chipped.

So right from Yonge over the Bay St. they are pulling them all up.

One by one.

By hand.

(Oh, I already said that.)

And replacing the chipped ones.

After seeing the look on my face, the supervisor said, "Uhhh...the contractor is paying for this, don't worry."

Oh, I worry.

It's what I do.

Okay. You Got Me....

Pretty accurate for ten bucks.

They were all over me when I came in the store.

And then, "Excuse me sir, can I help you?"

"Uhhh........no."    They've stopped.

Totally

Have An Accident While Reading Highway Signs? Call Us!

Hey! I Know That Guy!

Good Sign!

....that the new batch of wings at my pub are just as hot as advertized!

No, Send Me!

"I Am Crushing Your Head"

Guess whose head she wants to crush?

But he laughs at her. 

Because it will take more than two fingers to crush that massive melon.

Makes Rob Ford Look Good

And that, as the world knows, ain't easy.....

So That's Where My Grade 2 Baseball Glove Went

Good Advice!

It's Official

I just painted three side tables to match some new tables I got.

A friend said, "What are you up to?"

I said I'm just looking at these tables I painted, waiting to be able to bring them inside.

She said, "So you're watching paint dry?"

Oh oh......

So it's official; I am now a old coot.  Didn't even make it to 60.

"What A Difference A Day Makes...."

So scooted on down the road to lovely Bradenton Florida to watch the Jays battle the Pittsburgh Pirates.

It's no Yankee Stadium, but still pretty nice facility for Spring Training.

And cool Pirates Camo hats handed out.

Monkeys?

Not sure what other flying objects you need to be worried about.

And wait a second - that doesn't look like a real Canadian flag.

It's bad enough when they sing our national anthem to the tune of "Oh Christmas Tree", but the flag?


Ah ha!

So here's the real deal.

Let's zoom in, eh, on that other one?

This looks like a Dollar Store version.

But other than that, the park was excellent.

Very good grandstand seats in the outfield.  Bars on both sides.  All over actually.

Stadium was much better than the Jays that day. 

Can't bring myself to put up a shot of the score. but when we left, it was 22-2 for the Bucs.  Ended up 22-5.  

And it wasn't our scrubs pitching either.  Two of our starting rotation fireballers (as in throwing gasoline on the fire) gave up 14 runs in three innings.  Ouff.....  Not a good omen.

Well at least we have the Leafs going for us.

Or do we......... Ouff.

"Must Be In The Front Row....."

Was lucky enough to go to a Jays-Yankees Spring Training game the other day at George Steinbrenner Park.

The Yankees really know how to do things up.

There's our Jay's feared slugger, Jose Bautista at bat.

And, of course, got a chance to see Derek......Jeeta, and probably for the last time.

We had great seats.  In fact, we were on the big screen each time a right handed batter came to the plate.

You don't believe me, there's the proof!

What?  Can't see me?

Maybe this will help refresh your memory.

No?

Okay, there is the Urban one.  Looking sideways (apparently at the big screen).

In your defence, I couldn't see me either.  The whole dang day.

The white arm in front of me is my buddy, trying to show me where I am on the screen.  Guy in blue on the other side is pointing at my head.

Apparently they both thought I needed help.

And beside him, over the batter's head, the woman who is taking (and later texting to me) the picture.

Okay, I have way too much time on my hands.  So sue me.


"Take Me Out To The Ball Game"

 But a great day for baseball and the Jays won.


The Bravest Man In The World

Which allowed me to do this.  In the Yankee Home Plate Lounge.

Or maybe it was the dozen beers that helped me do this. 

The next four pictures I will not post.  But I am recovering nicely.

Hey, I'm in a Seinfeld episode!

That's George Steinbrenner.  From the back.


Next up; Jays-Pirates.  Spoiler alert - the results were not as good for the Jays that day.  Not as good.

I Have Another Definition Of Discount In My Mind....

Those Darn Fatalities

Don't you hate it when a couple of guys getting killed mar a fantastic festival.  How inconsiderate of them.

But it's like that in all walks of life.

"How was your day?"

"Not bad.  But it was marred a bit when Bob was killed by that bus.  Uhhh...what's for dinner?"

[Ed. note: Rashad Charjuan Owens, the accused in all this violence, sits in a Texas prison on $3-million bail charged with capital murder and possibly 22 additional counts of aggravated assault. If found guilty, he could be executed. He’s 21 years old and the father of six children.  
And people in Toronto will be familiar with this; he is trying to turn his life around and is an aspiring hip-hop artist.  Turns out he was caught trying to duck a police sobriety check on the way to a SXSW hip-hop gig where he was supposed to later perform.]

"Pack Up The Babies & Grab The Old Ladies"

That is a Bald Eagle sitting atop that tree.

Very impressive sight.

Not an impressive picture (he looks more like a fat turkey), but a very impressive sight when you are that close.

In fact, as I walked under that tree, people were all pointing up.

I looked up, and "Holy crap!"

Now here he is from a (much safer) distance.

Sitting now atop the tallest tree in the area surveying his kingdom.

And not another bird in sight.   Eerie.....

So I guess babies and old ladies are safe.  But nothing anything smaller.

In fact, not much of anything seems to be safe in Florida.....

So How's Your Crummy Life Going?

What?  You can't afford a waiter to serve you dinner on the beach?

How embarrassing.

But wait.

What's going on here?

Ahhhh....now I get it.

But it's not all rainbows and lollipops. 

Some poor schmoes have to schlep the whole deal down to the beach by themselves to enjoy the sunset.

In spite of my predicament, I'm not expecting much sympathy.

My Kind Of Place

As opposed to......Who Is This For?

Typical Parking Lot?

Let's take a closer look......

Typical Florida Parking Lot

Coming to a theatre near you. 

Resistance is futile.

Because everybody I know is getting older.

[Note: Due to the poor vision of handicapped, mature readers, those are all Handicap parking signs.  I said, those are all Handicap parking signs!!]