Just When You Thought Florida Couldn't Get Any Worse

...or stupider.

Sure, everybody is having COVID parties.  But these seem to be more industrial strength,

Upwards of 400 people mass on the streets.  Orchestrated by local gangs.

Like most COVID parties, the objective is to...well...catch COVID.

I'm not sure what the gangs are getting out of this, though.  Its not like they're seven year old boys sticking boogies on your neck.  Heh, heh, heh.....

Anyway...it's Florida. That's all you need to know.

And to re-quote a good friend of mine.....

And you also need to know that in the last seven days, the Miami/Palm Beach/Ft Lauderdale area has had.....

...35,000 cases!  The entire country of Canada, since this whole thing has started, has had 110,000 cases.

Sure, those south-eastern cities make up a lot of the population.  But this area and the Tampa/Orlando area account for 70% of all the cases in Florida.

So there's something funkadelic going on there.

And let's take a look at those 110,000 cases in Canada.

As previously reported, a bit of a toe stub recently as some precincts have re-opened bars and restaurants.  So let's hope they can tamp down any flare ups.

Because we certainly don't want to end up like our good friends to the south.  Luckily we have some of the finest minds at work to keep us safe.

[Another Mr. Boffo, courtesy of Joe Martin.]

Be Careful What You Wish For

So everybody wanted to get back in the sandbox and have fun.  And everybody mocked Ontario for not being mature enough to handle the responsibility.

Ontario was COVID on-fire at the time and all the other provinces smugly wagged their fingers at them.

So what's happened now that all those Chads & Stacys are back in their bars?

[As always, click on any graph to zoom in.]

Sweet mama!

Apparently, Alberta's problem is that the Calgary bar scene is out of control.  Similar issues with Vancouver and Montreal.

So....as most of Ontario gets set to re-open bars and restaurants today, be careful.

Because I can't believe we are really all that much smarter then the rest of the country.

But as we do venture out to patios, seeing friends for the first time since the lock-down, get ready for some interesting stares.

"Hey, Chad, you're looking...er...uhh..yeah, you're....anyway, good to see you."

Been there!  Been told that!

But you (or me) are not the only ones getting older.  Here are a few then and now pics of some famous folk.

You might ask, what about the ladies?

Well, for all the actresses, for the life of me I could barely tell which was the "Then" and which is the "Now", so gave up.

For the guys, not so hard....

And for you ladies out there....

Ah, the good old days......

A Beautiful Day In The Neighbourhood

So back to Florida.

What could be nicer than a relaxing swim in the ocean.

This is  a screen grab from a video following three stingrays, gliding gracefully through the water. Accompanied by beautiful, tranquil music.

But they weren't counting on Hellboy - a very sunburned "Florida man" - making an appearance!

As one commentator observed, “The story here, at least the one anybody actually cares about, is the red dude! Ain’t nobody thinking about the damn stingrays! … Except maybe wondering what they thought when they encountered their 1st red human being. Who the hell is he?”

But he does look a lot like Hellboy.

Way to go Florida man!  We can always count on you.  But tonight you're gonna feel like Hell, boy!

So let's look at a traditional view of Florida's COVID situation.  This chart has blue bars as daily cases and a red line showing 7 day averages.

And as a comparison, here is the Ontario chart.

Couple of points:

• the key to reading two line charts is that if you can see the red line easily, the trend is downwards  If the red line is inside the bar bars, the trend is increasing.
• so generally for the most part for Ontario you can see the red line.  Florida, not so much.
• at its highest, Ontario's rate was about 30 cases per million population.  At its lowest, Florida's rate was 50, and has gone up from there.
• now, in Florida's defense, we now know that for COVID, density kills.  So Florida has more population than Ontario, but only 15% of the land mass.  So its density is ten times as high as Ontario.  So they are rolling a rock up a big hill to start with.
• plus they have way more...wait for it....shotgunning beer bros!

Party on, Garth!

I Wanna Go To Miami!

At least that what it looks like Alberta, Quebec and BC are thinking.  [As always, click on any graph to zoom in.]

Everybody, except the centre of the universe, Ontario, is headed in the wrong direction.  In fact, Ontario is the only one headed in the right direction.

What could be the difference?

The other three have all "re-opened" business in the last while.  So be careful what you wish for.

Because wanna see what that could look like after a little while longer...?

I'm not suggesting that there are as many shotgunning beer bros in Edmonton as Miami, but if you look at the blue Alberta line, the recent trend looks familiar.

One big difference. of course - the Alberta rate is 15.  The Miami rate over 500!

But Montreal has also had a bunch of recent cases in the 20-30 demographic from nightclubs.

I have no lived experience to support this, but I suspect when the drinks start being poured and the stories start being told, social distancing takes second seat to "I love you, man!".

"Let's shotgun some beers, bro!"

I am getting a lot of good use out of that picture, huh,

 Anyway, play safe out there.

He's Baaack

Well, he never really went away.  And Florida man has been busy again.

From yesterday's post - and reader comments - first thing I saw this morning.....

Hey, wait a minute.   This guy can't be from Florida, he's kinda, sorta wearing a mask.

He would have crashed into that church naked if he was from Florida.

Anyway,  back to Florida in general.  A few days ago, this was the state of COVID in select precincts. [As always, click on any graph to zoom in.]

Florida leading the pack. 

Let's look at Florida, 3 days later, compared to some other areas.

Florida's four day rate has increased by 16%.  Above its already incredibly high rate.

But wait, we're not done yet.  Your visit to Florida could include - Miami!

What are they doing there - giving it out like ice cream?  {Florida man seen giving out...no.]

I'm embarrassed to even put Ontario and Toronto on that chart.

Even Windsor, the hot bed of all thing COVID in Canada, looks as clean as a like a maternity ward.

And speaking of maternity wards....

[More Mr. Boffo from the mind of Joe Martin.]

Why Not Kick A Horse While It's Down?

Or is that kick a dead dog?

Regardless - or irregardless, if you look at the latest Mirraim-Webster edition (see below) - it's fun bashing Florida.

In fact, if you Google your birthday and "Florida man" you are guaranteed to come up with something weird and wonderful.

I literally just did that for my birthday.  The first one - of many -

As I was saying.....

And I hope you can't make out my actual birthday, as I don't want my loyal readers - either of them - to be sending cards and cash gifts.

Anyway, back to Florida.

But first back to Mirriam-Webster....

So the tall foreheads there have decided that irregardless is now a word.  And what does it mean?

Irregardless means...uh...regardless.

You can't make this stuff up.  These posts write themselves.

So back to Florida.  Okay, I'm tired of Florida.  Let's mock somebody else.

They're Baaaaaack.....

No, not them.

Them.  Windsor COVID cases.

And just when you thought we had this licked.  [As always, click on any graph to zoom in.]

Looking at Ontario's COVID case history...

....you can see yesterday's blip.


And it ripples all the way up to the Canadian stats.  Makes us all look like a bunch of boobs.

So as a public service, we asked the two smartest men in the world to demonstrate the proper Canadian technique for social distancing.

They weren't available, so these two stood in.

Pretty damn close!

Keep a hockey stick length between you and your buddy at all times.  An occasional butt end in the gut is acceptable, too.

Sunshine Or On Fire State

Let's take a look around the world at all things COVID and see who is flattening and who is igniting.

I think we might all know the answer to the latter.

This chart looks at the 4 day average per capita rate of new COVID cases.  [As always, click on any graph to zoom in.]

Florida, no surprise, is red hot. I mean really hot.

But so is Texas, California, Brazil and Saudi Arabia.

Former hot spots, Spain & Italy, are down in the piker region with Canada.

So let's drill into Florida.

So even though (red bar) Florida is miles above the rest of the world, Miami Beach is miles above everywhere in Florida.

What's going on?  Well, in addition to the aforementioned shotgunning beer bros....

....Miami seems also to be home to not only pulsating nightclubs but massive parties at private homes.

Okay, that looks more like a booze cruise, but you get the idea.

Unfortunately, they don't.

As long as they stay in their infected petri bubble, I'm okay.  But as soon as they say "Dudes, let's go rockin' in Canada!" that changes everything.

Luckily most of them couldn't find Canada on a map.  Let alone put a plan together to get here.

Here's hoping, anyway.....

Red Letter Day?

Ontario did something it hadn't done since just about this whole Covid thing began.

Zero Covid deaths yesterday.

And only nine in all of Canada.

[As always, click on any graph to zoom in.]

And shockingly, six in the poster child of good Covid practices, British Columbia.  All deaths were in long term care homes.

New Covid cases continue their good trend.

Although Alberta is the guilty culprit yesterday, with 130 new cases yesterday.


In spite of Ontario's trend being terrific over the last few weeks.....

...Toronto has implemented a mandatory face-mask policy for all inside public spaces.  As face-masks are the gold standard in preventing contracting Covid.


Or are they.....?