Run for Your Lives!

Oh.....they're spare ribs.

Pig bones.

Guess Stephen Harper didn't do anything yesterday, so the CBC had to dredge up something else to grab reader's attention.


Sheesh.....

I Think I Must Have Dated Their Pastor

Or the NDP have taken over this church.

However, I'm afraid this joke is on the church, if they think this is a nugget of historical wisdom to promote philanthropy.

This is actually a joke used by Jackie Gleason.  Who was a notorious drinker, gambler and womanizer (not that's there's anything wrong with that).

But not sure the church knowingly wants to be exhorting its congregation to Act Like Jackie.....

During the extensive research for this post, for which this site is admired, came across another quote on money;

"Money, it turned out, was exactly like sex. You thought of nothing else if you didn’t have it and thought of other things if you did." — James Baldwin, American novelist

Uhhh....I'll have to take his word for it.........

Or one of my own favourites;

A guy says, "You won the lottery and now you have no money?  What happened?"

"Ah, I spent a bunch of it on booze, partying and women.  And the rest of it I just blew."

Ba da bing.....

Why Men Shouldn't Write Advice Columns

All We Are Saying......

Is......anyone....?

Anyone...?

Beuller...?

"Give peas a chance."

[Ed. note:  Stolen.  Obviously.  From someone clever.]

Don't Do It!

"Hmmmm...should I have the Pronto Pup......Special.....with large fries.....?"

Sanity won out and he for went for the simple hot dog and children's fries.

Unfortunately......not everyone was so smart.......

Trout Lake-a Mistake-a

Great day for a little lake cruise?

Absolutely!

However, upon non-sober reflection......

Usually our captain's dog, Sunny, is all over a lake cruise.

And all over the boat.  At the side, in the back, catching spray with her teeth.

 But not today......

Come on!  What's a few waves?

It was a smooth, enjoyable ride.   The waves weren't that high.

Right?

Just like mountain goats won't go anywhere near loose stones, I wonder if Sunny is trying to tell us something?

 Nah.....

Spray up over the top of the boat?

Perfectly normal for a craft of this size.

What a party pooper.

It's not like we can't swim.

And even if we did have engine trouble and were stranded, we had lots of beer.

Uhhhh....that we would never drink, unless it was an emergency.  Officer.

But.....in the end, all was well.

Another happy ending.  Ha ha....gulp.....

No Truer Words....

Bird Of Prey?

I'm not waiting around to find out.......

Very Fancy....

 ...addition to an old neighbourhood.

Oopsie.  Maybe not......

Good to see they are keeping at least some of the heritage. 

Fruitopia?!

A Classic!

Even though "Honest" Ed Mirvish has passed away, it's good to he his son hasn't done anything to change his flagship store from the way it was 50 years ago.

 It's great when a businessman doesn't take himself, or his business, too seriously.

Not that Ed didn't make a ton of money off immigrant women, all fighting over a pair of two dollar socks;

"Ets a mine!"
"No, ets a mine!"

And, of course, a lot of my pre-work wardrobe was courtesy of Ed.  At least when I could out muscle Helga and Edna.

{Ed note: readers are thinking, why did you add "pre-work"?]

Blah, Blah, Blah.....

Uhhhhhh......No.

Now, as the mutual fund industry always states; "past performance is not a predictor of future performance".

But considering.....
   The 18 month (5 year) Bloor St Transformation Project
   The 48M$ (143M$ actual) St. Clair Right Of Way Project
   The Avenue Rd Watermain Replacement Project (still ongoing 3 years later)


So in this case......

Mmmm......Beer World

 Yeah........

If only.......

Tried Their Best......

....to make the new addition blend in.

Not!

Let's see....a beautiful brick and stone, turn of the century bank on The Danforth, and we need to make it a little taller.

Let's put a grey, concrete bunker on top!

Hey, add some metal poles sticking up.

What a waste - no neon billboard.....

Small Town Ontario

On the way to the pig roast last week, did a little tour of small town Ontario.

Well, a tour of at least one small town in Ontario.

 

And that would be Portland, Ontario, on the shores of Rideau Lake, part of the Rideau Canal system.

The houses in the first pic are shown here as the little brick coloured (?) boxes on Campbell St.

We decided to walk around the town.  Which we did in about ten minutes.

But not before we took time out to visit a marina for a bite and a beverage.

On a cool little roof top patio, full of French Canadians and Americans.  In fact, it was hard to find any Ontario plates on the streets.

But disaster was barley diverted when a sneaky, silver snake slithered silently (hmmm, not bad) towards a brave, unflinching Toronto City Boy, about to bite his ear.

Or not.

Portland is just a tiny little village, but some beautiful examples of turn of the century attention to architectural detail.

Great that they have been kept in such good repair.

Or else, well obviously not a 30 story condo going up, but at least mid 20's.

When's Your Lazy Father Getting Back From The Store?

Silly Rabbit......

Sooie!

 

Went to a friend's family pig roast over the weekend.  Last one was held four years ago, so a lot of pent up demand for this one.

Here is the main implement that makes the magic happen.

A home made, hand made.....uhhhh.....pig turner.  Thanks, Larry.

 Ouch.

The business end of the pig turner.

The business end works, as I found out trying to clean it.

A lot of work to do to prep for one of these shindigs.

Here; weed wacker prep.

Expert weed wackers were brought in from.....well, the basement.

And now appearing, the star of the show....well, the three stars.  All smiling.

Host, Miss Piggy,and Chief Pig Cooker.

 Ha ha, what an innocent looking little box.

Containing the foul, evil ingredients for a Quebec Garage.

No two parts the same.  No two parts fit.  More later.......

And, of course, nothing could go wrong here.

Attempting to attach flag to very tall flagpole.

And when something is bad, more is better.....

Help on the way.

And if more help is needed, a crack medical staff was on hand.

And that is an IV one of the nurses is holding on the right.  Not what you think it is.

In the end, they were not required.  Good thing!  (Just kidding, girls.)

At least for that exercise anyway.....

The stage for the evening entertainment was rolled in without incident.

Little did it know what it was getting itself in for!

Two sets of drums, three bands, lots of amps and lots and lots of guitars.  And lots and lots of volume.

I would have gotten a noise complaint if we had had this on my balcony.  Plus the stage thingy would have hung over the street too far.  And don't even talk to me about the padding required for the elevator....

Now really getting down to business.  Chief Pig Guy trussing her up good.

Looks easy all set up, eh?

Ha!  To anyone that has ever set one of these beauties up, it is an evil being.  It did not want to be set up without a fight.

And even after that, here is it trying to walk away.

And the title for this pic is......

Anyone...? Anyone.....?

Pig in a blanket, of course.

How long a hack like me has waited for this opportunity.....

Argh! Argh!

Too much testosterone on the loose!

Now we're talking!

Miss Piggy on the spit at 6:30am.

Is it time for a beer yet?  Almost......

Okay now.

Here is Assistant Pig Guy and Host.

Host is thinking "If you take one more picture......"

Okay, time to get the stage set up.

Only five amps and four microphones so far.  I laugh in its general direction.

Eager beavers starting to arrive early.

 

She's looking good, Vern. 

 

Now I don't want to say there were a lot of drinkers there.... 

So I'll let you draw your own conclusions.....

And this is an "art shot".  Not a result of too many deposits to the top bucket.  Urp....

Parking team discussing strategy.

"There are more beers in the cooler in that white car."

 

Just about ready.....

 

MC extraordinaire, Big Joe (yellow shirt) introducing one of the excellent bands, Puddle Alley. 

And that is an IV the lead singer is drinking.  Not what you think it is.

Okay, this is not an "art shot".  This is a signal that the picture taker should be taking no more pictures at this party.

So you will just have to imagine what happened after this, or wait four more years.

Which is the amount of time it will take me to recover.   Ouff....

So a huge thanks to our hosts, Claude and Mike and the whole "Staff" team for a great event!  Way to go, guys!