Post Script To "Tire Rot"

Forgot to mention another aspect of Tire Kingdom's customer service provided with my recent tire buying experience.

See Tire Rot for a refresher of the story so far.

I went back in to buy the tires, and asked the owner, "So, what type of tires do you recommend?"

He said, "Cheap ones. Like the ones you got now."

Okay then.....

Straight and to the point.  Why waste time discussing brands and pros & cons and stuff.

He said, "You can drive around town, to the airport, maybe Miami.  That's all you need."

I'm thinking, can you keep your voice down.

Anyway, so far so good.  But I'm not going to be chancing Miami.

I'm not sure I know what this business is about.

And I'm not sure I want to know......

But how much fun could it be if it closes at 5pm.

November 11th

100th anniversary of Armistice Day, the end of World War I.

Gotta Love Rat

Pearls Before Swine

[Click on picture to zoom in.]


[For those not in the know, the excellent comic strip Pearls Before Swine, created by Stephan Pastis, has five characters, but two main ones;  A rat, called Rat and a pig called - you guessed it - Pig.]

"Do Not Pass Go"

And "Go Directly To Jail".

As I am guessing that if you are using L&A Legally Services & Travel, that is the only traveling you'll be doing.

"So you provide legal services?"

"Well....they're more....legally."

"I you want legal services, I'd get a lawyer.'

In All My Years...

.....this has never happened.

Dropped my car off for an oil change.  Place called Tire Kingdom.

A while later, the guy calls me up.

"Uhhh...about your car.  [Oh, oh, I'm thinking.]  You don't need new oil.  You've only driven 25 miles since the last change [car just sits in the hot sun for six months] .  The colour and viscosity are good,  I'd feel bad changing it."

Wow "You don't need an oil change", said nobody ever.

Of course, when I went in to pick it up, the guy says, "But you do need new tires."

Ba da boom!  Of course!  It's a tire place.

He said, they've got "tire rot".  [I'm thinking "tire rot"?  Is that like when a mechanic tells you your engine needs a new Johnson Rod? It's like crap they just make up?]



Post Script
So I got home and Googled "Tire Rot".

"Tire dry rot is also called sidewall cracking. Comes from sitting in the hot sun with little to no activity."

Bingo.  Well, what do you know.

I looked for the URL reference, it was "Tirekingdom.com".

Of course.

Actually what I think I found was their training manual.

"Anybody that comes in.  With an old beater.

You tell 'em, 'tire rot'.

And you say it with a straight face."

What's Wrong With This Picture?

Before pot was legalized in Canada, the above picture looked like the picture below.

A funky little shop selling, well, weed.

See Very Clever for a refresher.

But after weed was legalized this week, all the pot stores had to close.

Only the government could come up with a plan like that.

Stores will be able to sell pot - but not until April.  Until then, you must buy from an on-line government store.

Weed The Stupid.

Boy Are These Guys Insecure

Others, Not So Much.....

Legal Pot In Cadana - Day 2 Report

Only one unfortunate issue reported yesterday with the legal roll out of weed in Canada - all the grocery stores ran out of Oreo cookies.

Guess they should have called this guy.

Kill two birds with one stone.

[Ha ha, stone - get it.]

Richard Simmons, When He Was A Young Girl

Should Have Been "Be Here"

With league attendance dropping this year, they realized too late their mistake......

[CFL = Canadian Football League]

Bigfoot? Lock Ness Monster? Elvis?

No.

Seeing four Leafs at the top of the NHL leaderboard.

Priceless!

Don't Mess With Texas

Hell ya!

Not even a grandma but a great-grandma.

I'm guessing when you go to visit great-granny you ain't eating cucumber sandwiches and sipping lemonade.

"Come here, child. Get your hands in there and help me gut this this thing.  And quit all that squirming around."

They Warned Me

So not only is this craft beer very, very hoppy, it is also 6.2% alcohol.

The barmaid warned me about the hoppy part - but not the 6.2% part.

Luckily I figured it out myself after I had.....well never you mind how many I had.

[It just looks nasty sitting back there, doesn't it.]

A Face Only......

....everybody could love!

Meet "Ester The Wonder Pig".

And Ester has just been pronounced cancer free.  As is evident from her smile.

Some Background

The 300 kilogram Ester was diagnosed with breast cancer on Aug. 9 following a first-of-its-kind CT scan her owners, Steve Jenkins and Derek Walter,  fought for months to bring to Canada.

Esther underwent a successful surgery on Aug. 28 to remove the cancerous lump.

So now she will live happily ever after at the - you guessed it - Happily Ever Ester Farm Sanctuary in Milton, Ontario.

Way to go guys!

The Age Old Question

As I am getting my dinner ready and scouring the fridge for something to cook, I came across what I think is some Gorgonzola cheese.

I seem to remember buying some a long time ago.

It sure looks bad.  And smells bad.

So the age old question is; how do you know if Gorgonzola has actually gone bad?

Without actually having to eat it, of course.

[My friend asked me; why you always looking for short cuts?]

Anyway.....any help would be appreciated.

Is Florence The New Hazel?

Hurricane Florence is expected to be the deadliest storm to hit the Carolina's in 150 years.

The previous deadliest storm was Hurricane Hazel in 1954.

Hurricane Hazel?  The mayor of Mississauga?

No, Toronto's deadliest hurricane ever.

I guess the Globe & Mail headline was a little premature - 81 people died.

[And I'm not sure what "69 lost" means.   They got lost?]

But Hazel first hit the US in the Carolina's, causing massive damage.  Same as is forecast with Florence.

Hope she doesn't take the same path north as Hazel.

Who'da Thunk It?

A CNN poll that shows Trump is unpopular?

Wow, I hope the sun comes up tomorrow!

Actually the questions were not biased, as I was able to get a copy of them;

#1 - How much do you hate that rat faced bastard Trump?

a) A lot
b) More than that
c) Completely
d) He is the re-incarnation of the Devil
e) My hair is on fire!!

Okay, I guess you don't really need to read any more of them.

But stay tuned for the Saturday Night Live poll coming up on "How should Trump die?"

Actually, this just in:

Looks like dame Carole Cook beat SNL to the punch.

I think I know how she answered Question #1......

Tempest In A....Beer Bottle?

The Government Of Ontario has just introduced "Buck-A-Beer".  Brewers can now sell beer for $1.

Okay.....

But if you listen to the pundits in downtown Toronto, you would think the world has stopped spinning on its axis and we will all be flung into oblivion!

It has been called "reckless", "dangerous", ill-advised" among many, many other adjectives.  This will increase drunken driving accidents.  Students and the poor will be adversely affected. What about the children?

Brewers call it foolhardy and a "race the to the bottom".

So what did Doug Ford do?

Did he slash the minimum amount for which a beer can be sold from $5 to $1?

Or from $3 to $1.

Or maybe cut cut the damn price in half!!

He cut it from $1.25 to $1,00.

A quarter.

Okay, everybody can go back to sleep.

And I might just head to the beer store.....

The More Things Change....

....the really faster they change.

I remember my Frosh Week.

Sort of.

Back in the day, this would have been more like the the headline.

Yeah, baby!

That's Using The Old Noodle

When you've really got to "gator done" - as thery say in Florida - why not use all the help you can get.

This gator was seen crossing a canal in Key Largo.  Likely something tasty was waiting on the other side.

Actually he doesn't look a lot different from many of the blue haired ladies floating in our community pool.

Except probably a lot quieter.

From The "Why Didn't I Think Of That" File

So I guess the latest silly social media trend is now the "Tip The Bill" Challenge.

And this should be confused with other social media trends like the "Tide Pod Challenge", when kids (it usually seems to be kids) eat a Tide Pod (luckily I don't know what a Tide Pod is) or the "Hot Water Challenge", where kids pour boiling water over (usually) other kids and the latest, the "Fire Challenge".  Where - you guessed it - kids set themselves on fire.

But enough of that. Back to the "Tip The Bill" Challenge.

This is where you....tip the amount of the bill.  So if your bill is $50, you leave a $50 tip.

My friend Maya, who wrote this article, "wholeheartedly recommends" participating in this and that it is "really thoughtful".

I wonder what Maya's day job is - a server?

I'd like to propose another challenge.  And one that I wholeheartedly recommend and also feel is really thoughtful.

And it is the "#GiveJim$100" Challenge.

Anybody who sees me gives me $100.

So come on, be one of the cool kids!  I'm heading downtown right now.  Hope you see me soon!

"That'll Do, Tractor"

Old Bess, as seen at my buddy's Pig Roast & Beer Bust in south-eastern Ontario this weekend.

I'm guessing Old Bess doesn't owe my buddy anything by now.....

Dang!

Just screwed up my favourite pair of sunglasses.

Dropped them and both lenses popped out.

Glued them back in, but got the left on the right and right on the left. So the lenses dig into your cheeks.

And glue all over the lenses.

There goes $4.

How To Avert Another Crisis

A new report gives recommendations on how the province can prevent an impending mental health crisis.

The top two recommendations;
1) higher pay for psychiatrists
2) more psychiatrists

Who produced this report?

Oh.  The Coalition of Ontario Psychiatrists

And, according to the report, the province must act on this immediately!  I'm sure there's a pot shot or two in there at Doug Ford, but I didn't read the whole report.

But I am thinking of preparing my own report, by the Coalition of Old Retired Guys;

Top recommendations (although there would be many);

1) cheaper beer (hey, Dougie already did that!)

2) more hot babes that like old retired guys (okay, he's no miracle worker)

You scoff.  But my recommendations are no more self serving the psychiatrists ones.

And the province also better act on mine quickly.  Because let's face it, nobody wants an old retired guy crisis, where they all walk about telling the same old stories over and over.

What?  It's too late?

Funny.  That reminds of the time.......

Considering Who They Are Sponsored By, Better Than No Breathe

Wah! I Want That To Be Me!

Hey, We've All Got 'Em.....

The Jig's Up

Gangbangers all over Toronto are doing palm plants on their foreheads.

"Crap!  They're banning guns.  I guess we are going to have to turn ours in, boys. The City of Toronto has outfoxed this time!"

And then they laughed and laughed......



Post Script - two days later.

Rex Murphy, the excellent columnist for the National Post, also commented on the handgun ban requested by the City of Toronto.  [Double click to better read.]

My only question is; does Rex read my blog...?


Here is a link to the full article.  Tough Questions Need Answering

Don't Even Think About It

"You will lose every time."

You've Come A Long Way, Baby!

Took the ferry yesterday over to the Toronto Islands.

Had forgotten what an amazing view this gives you of the skyline of the fourth largest city in North America.

The Skydome on the left with the iconic CN Tower beside it.

And a forest of skyscrapers everywhere else.

But it wasn't that long ago that the TD Centre was the tallest building in Toronto.  And in the British Commonwealth.

The what? 

The TD Centre.

Huh?  Doesn't look like much.

Here, I'll zoom in.

Where?

There!

But you're right, doesn't look like much - now.

But in 1967.....

So 50 years later, we have forgotten the profound impact it had on the city of  Toronto.  Transforming it from sleepy little colonial outpost to worldwide banking power.


Many people hated it then.

Most people can't even find it now.

At least without a little red magic marker highlighter.

So little Toronto has certainly come a long way.....

And man and his dog.

And his dock.

And his drink.

Life is good today.


I just noticed my bio picture: same dock, same chair, different year.  And maybe even same shirt, as we shop the same place.

Very Clever

Passed this joint on a walk about yesterday in downtown TO.

In case you don't get it, the Toronto Raptor's new slogan is "We The North".

And, in case you didn't know it - Part Deux - Canada just passed a bill legalizing weed.

Risky Business....?

Hmmm....not so sure I want to eat at a place called Wako Sushi.

I went inside and saw that their motto is;  "We're Wako!  We Don't Refrigerate Anything!"

I've Seen This Movie Before - Toronto Version

"Two of these things are not like the others. "

I think these two little guys, on Sheppard Ave at Bayview, are doomed.  There are high-rises all around them now.

But not too long ago, Sheppard was lined with little bungalows all like this.

So what happened?

Obviously Toronto housing rices have gone through the roof in the last 20 years.

But here it is due to one event;  the Sheppard "subway to nowhere".

This subway line has been mocked forever, saying the density was too low to support a subway.

It still has low ridership, but it is increasing rapidly each year.

So this post could have been called "If You Built It, They Will Built It".

Because at the intersection where each station is, massive development is taking place.

Above used to be a dusty, quiet little corner, with all bungalows.

Not any more.

So where is it smarter to build a subway;  on a dusty quiet little corner with few tall buildings, and let the growth come to them?

Or on a densely populated street, lined with high-rises?  Can you say "Eglinton Crosstown LRT"?

For people living on or even near Eglinton, or trying to drive on it, this is a ten year disaster.

The Sheppard way, a couple of little bungalows up there will meet their demise.  But I don't think the owners will be too upset.