Bite Me, Rob!

Don't Even Think About it!

Other than that, enjoy your stay!

Heritage In Downtown

Here is a lovely, turn of the century home snuggled in downtown Toronto. Hidden from the wrecker's ball.

Or is it?

[Or why would I be taking a picture? And getting on that old horse of mine.]

Oh look. This one's only 44 stories. Hardly notice it.

Man, you won't be able to see an inch of blue sky before too long.

Daddy, What's "Hot 2 Trot" Mean?

"Nothing, just wear the dang stuff."

Holy smackers, who the heck buys their six year old daughter a nice pack of "Hot 2 Trot" whatever this stuff is?

I hear ya; it's not for six year olds, ya doofus.

Okay - then who is it for? 12 year olds?

'cause I don't think any self respecting woman of a "certain age" will be slapping this stuff on any time soon or she'll be scaring the bejeezus out of a bunch of 20 year fellows.

I guess the moral of the story is, you don't have to buy everything you see at a Dollar Store.

For.....Organ Donation?

...Life saving surgery?

Must be important to block a lane at rush hour.



Oh......

A snack attack.

I guess they think the sign makes it all okay.

"Officer, didn't you see the sign?"

Le Knee, Part Trois Or Quatre, I Can't Remember

So after seeing the knee specialist and doing a month of intensive anti-inflammatories, with no reduction in swelling or stiffness (of my knee, you cheeky monkeys) went back yesterday.

He says we're going to give you a little help. So he got his intern to get out a big honking needle and suck out three vials of....vile fluid from my knee.

[Admission; picture below not really me, but same situation. Minus the protective clothing and sterilized rubber gloves.]

But he just hauled away on this syringe and sucked out those three vials of this sticky yellow fluid. That is one weird feeling.

When the surgeon came back to check, he waved one of them in my face and said "No one can say you're not sweet as honey". Barf.

Then they reversed the process and gave me a steroid shot. Right into the old knee cavity. And you know what, that felt pretty weird, too.

As I got up off the examination bed and hobbled towards the door, the surgeon, who was now on to his next victim, yelled out at me, "Where do you think you're going like that? Are you in pain?"

I said I was just being careful, favouring it a bit.

He said "Walk normal."

So it wasn't too bad. I yelled out, hands raised, "I'm cured! I'm cured!"

I said, "I guess that limping wouldn't have been the best advertizing."

He replied, "You would have cleared my waiting room in a flash."

So we both laughed. Well....I did. He nodded, but in a more side to side way.

Anyway, one day later, this steroid thing.....is fantastic! I haven't felt this good in ten years. I think some of the goodness must have leaked from the knee area and fixed all my other aches and pains.

No wonder these baseball players were popping these steroids like candy.

So in retirement, I've now decided that rather than just drink beer, I'm going to train to do some doctoring. Well, injecting to be more precise.

Stay tuned for Part Cinq.

Another Sign That You REALLY, REALLY Like Beer

You go right to the Brewer's warehouse.

And they know your name.

"The usual, Mr. Joe?"

So this is where all the beer in Toronto comes from....

The trucks just go on and on and on.....

Like being at Santa's workshop.

Only much better!

Too good to be true.

The dream is over. You're not going anywhere with that keg.

Just kidding.....

"See you in a week, Joe."

Pause To Reflect

I didn't realize that my office looked out on to the Highway of Heroes.

Until yesterday.

When I noticed flashing police cruisers had cut off access to the southbound Don Valley Parkway.

Soon the entire parkway was eerily empty.

Initially I had thought there had been an accident on the bridge over the DVP due to the ambulance - left in picture above.

But then I noticed Canadian flags draped over the bridge.

And then a silent convoy of police sentinels passed.

[You can just see them between the trees heading left to right in my crummy photo. Double click to get a better view.]

Then the family of the fallen soldier.

Then the fallen soldier.

Very moving. Even just standing in my office.

This same ritual is carried out at every bridge along the entire length of The Highway of Heroes. Almost 200 kilometres. From Trenton to Toronto.

Firefighters, police officers, paramedics park their vehicles, lights flashing.

Ordinary citizens join them, draping flags across the bridges.

All standing at attention, paying silent respect.

As I said, very moving.

Ozzy's? Shawarma?

No thanks.

I'm not buying no Shawarma's from anybody named Ozzy.

I'm not buying anything from anybody named Ozzy.

Unless maybe it's a book about getting jiggy with Harriet.......

Call The Louvre!

Somebody airbrushed the doob out of the obvious fake they have!

And this finally explains her smile.

I blame it on the Vatican. They can't handle the truth!

I Wonder If The Parking's Permanent?......

Hey, The Assman's Back!

I wonder what this guy does for a living?

[With apologies to Kramer.]

Well?

The Lone Canadian!

Always on guard.

[Thanks for the eagle eyes, Big Joe.]

What? Your eyes aren't as eagle as Big Joe's? Is this better?

What Is This Thing?

Wait, I get it.

It's a non-mobile, mobile phone. In an airport.

So you don't have to lug your cell phone everywhere and pay roaming charges.

And it's pay as you go.

What'll they think of next?

What Were They Thinking?

Holiday Inn has just spent millions redesigning their logo.

And this is the best they can come up with?

If I had one, my six year old son could have come up with something better.

At least they've outfitted their hotels with quality and timeless furnishings.....not!

Where are we? Back in the 1960's?

Am I stuck in the back seat of my Dad's '69 Delta 88?

There Goes The Neighbourhood

The folks at these three conferences probably thought they were in for a relaxing week of meditation and self reflection in beautiful Canmore, just outside of Banff National Park.

Here we see the "Stress and Meditation" seminar.

Ahhhh......

Next door is the Life's Journey workshop in the tranquil Lady Slipper Room.

Life is a journey, my friends. Enjoy the ride.

And later on, the Healing Conference pow-wow.

I say pow-wow because this was a native group, complete with burning sage grass (I think that's what it was) and traditional drummers.

So imagine their surprize when the oil boilers with the big rigs rolled in next door! For our Mega-Drilling In The Arctic conference.

Okay, so we weren't the most popular group there. Those drill rigs are a bit loud.

And messy. Probably should have left them outside.

But I'll tell ya, there were no government dollars going to fund our conference, unlike I'm sure all the other La De Dah seminars.

Unless, of course, you count accelerated capital cost write-offs and resource depletion allowances. Oh yeah. And royalty holidays. We love them royalty holidays!

They make life's journey stress free every time.

Wow!

Mighty fine scenery out yonder.

How Many Air Canada Employees.....?

Does it take to check in luggage?

MORE THAN ONE!

[Double click picture to viewed failed attempt at creating dramatic panorama view.]

Big line up of people trying to get their luggage checked in. I watched while two women slowly worked away at reviewing boarding passes, ticketing bags and explaining to people that they can't bring eight suitcases the size of small houses, as I came to a slow boil.

Then, one closed her lap top, stood up, looked at the line...and left. Leaving one woman to deal with the entire line.

I'm pretty sure I made a clever comment like, "What the hell is going on here?", before the woman staffing the "Executive" or "Elite" line at the far end signalled that she would allow one of the great unwashed to approach her.

When I got there, I said, You need to have more staff on. She said, No, we're reducing staff.

And I know where they all are. See earlier post on "How Many Air Canada Employees does It Take To Do....Nothing?" to find out.

Man, oh, man! If the company didn't let me keep my Aeroplan miles, I'd...I'd...well I'd probably still fly Air Canada, because that's what I've always done.....

Waaah! Nobody Loves Me!

Poor old Olympic ski jumping and bobsled centre in Calgary.

Yesterday's news.