Saturday, 7 April 2018

Read 'Em And Weep - For Humanity

"Too Much Time On My Hands"

So a retirement community down here in south Florida thought they'd like to spruce up the joint a bit.

I guess they were thinking, What else have we got to do than paint the dumpster?

Just one little problem.....

In case you don't see it......


Tuesday, 3 April 2018

Is This What's It's Come to....?

At a dockside establishment recently, The Snook Inn, when quite a commotion arose.

People starting pointing and moving towards the dock area.

Then shouts of  "Oh, the pirate ship. The pirate ship!"

Then I could see this large vessel, all decked out, coming around the corner.

I couldn't quite make it out, but they were singing something.

I thought it was a pirate song I know;

"Away, away with the fife and drum.
  Here we come, full of rum!
  Looking for women to pat on the bum!
  On the North Atlantic Squadron!"


"Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum!"

Then as the wind shifted, I could make out what they were actually singing;

Sweet Caroline.

Sweet Caroline?

So is this what we've come to; pirates singing Sweet Caroline?  And swaying their arms back and forth?

To redeem themselves a bit, I was able to speak briefly with the pirate captain.  And I asked him, Have you ever been capsized at sea?

He said, No, but I've been blown ashore.

Ba da boom!

And then off they went.  Hopefully looking for women to...well, you know...

Friday, 23 March 2018

Just Ran Into My Good Buddies, Jim, Jack & Johnny

They seem to go everywhere I am.

And my Canadian buddies, Seagrams, Club & Crown, are usually not far away either.....

Wednesday, 21 March 2018

Knowing Your Customer

Went to a hockey game down here in South Florida. Land of blue skies and gray hair.

The game was great with lots of excitement.

At the first period intermission, Mother Nature called.

Rather than advertising Hooters, or Bud Lite, or gator wrasslin', they were guessed it.......

And I know it was Canada Night at the rink and all, but really.......?

Lumberjack shirts on the cheerleaders?  Pretty neat, eh?

And I bet this cheer-leading squad is also going...Really, this is what we have to wear...?

This explains why there are still people who come to Canada in July with their skis.

But not all the sporting venues get a thumbs down.

Baseball, for example.....

Most places may have a "seating chart".  Not in Florida!

So might as well make use of it.

Now my mother always said, never drink anything bigger than your head.

But I'll make an exception this time.

And while we're at it, why not catch a few Z's.

[A little after this pic was taken, Sleepy's boss came by and gave him Hell.  Somehow the guys in the blue and white t-shirts (watching the prospects on a side field take some rips - were they scouts for another team?)  slipped by him.  Bossman had to kick them out himself. I have a feeling I know who he kicked out next....]

Of course after the game, time for some more of those great beers!

I don't know about the gardening accident part, but this brew was certainly bizarre.

And who in their right mind (which no longer included us at this stage) is going to be ordering a "Snowflake"?  Or a "Lavender Ale" for that matter?

Although upon further inspection - which was getting progressively more difficult by the minute - the Snowflake is actually 6.9% alcohol.  Not too shabby.

But time to move on.  To.....

...$9 Pitchers!

Have I said lately, "I Love America!"

It's Bud Light, you say?  Oh please.

Why don't we get you a couple of those nice Snowflakes instead.

Monday, 19 March 2018

I've Seen This Movie Before

I'm afraid this little guy is doomed.

And on such a beautiful, huge lot, too.

And you know what's coming....

Just like what's coming for another dead man walking, on an equally huge lot.

To also be replaced shortly - by what is directly across the street from him.

But until it gets to this stage......

.....La la la la la.......

For a little refresher on this guy see D'oh!

Sunday, 18 February 2018

Whatever I'm Sellin', She Ain't Buyin'

However, if I remember correctly, I'd been buying...a lot of drinks......

[Flashback.....whatever.  To a decade, long long ago...]

Monday, 12 February 2018

If - I Mean When - I Own A Bentley.....

....this is how I would be storing it.

And this is how I would be taking care of it when out.

Or like this.  Of course.

Down here in Naples, not so much.

Just park on the grass on the side of the road.

Pretty sure the engine was running.

Guy probably went to get a pack of smokes.  Or some Dunkin Donuts.

"Hey, babe, I got youse the KFC Value Pak."

"Baby, you know I like the Family Pak."

[Ed. note: by popular request.....]