Tuesday, 25 July 2017

What Does It Take....



This nurse murdered eight seniors in her care and tried to murder four more.

By injecting them with insulin, which is reportedly an excruciating death.

She was convicted on eight counts of first degree murder and is serving a life sentence.

The College Of Nurses Of Ontario finally got around to investigating and disciplining her and they also found her guilty.

Of professional misconduct, mister!  Darn right.

And let me tell you, this will mean a black mark on her file.  Permanently.

This will be helpful for me when the time comes time to asking questions of nursing home for me.

"Has my nurse ever been disciplined for anything?"

"Oh nothing much.  A couple of smaller issues.  Nothing more serious than professional misconduct."

"Have any of her patients ever complained?"

"No, no one's ever complained."

I think I know why.  "Bye bye."

Tuesday, 11 July 2017

From The "No Shit, Sherlock" File


Wonder how much we paid for that study....?

In fact whatever it was, I'd do it for half price.

Here are some other studies I'd do.  Also for half price;

Fat people weigh more
Cute girls are hot
Trump is a misunderstood genius



Tuesday, 6 June 2017

What Ever Happened To Prosecuted?

Because I didn't want to get electrocuted, I couldn't get a clear pic of this sign that says "Danger - Trespassers May Be Electrocuted".

And why "may be" electrocuted?  Is there some guy with a switch back there?  "Hey, that's Arnott."  ZAP!

Monday, 29 May 2017

Missed It By That Much


You are in a century old building and fire breaks out.

You figure it is a death trap and you're doomed!

Then you look out the window, and see a fire escape down the side of the building.

You are saved!


D'oh!
Rats!  15 feet from victory.

Oh well, you were doomed anyway.

Friday, 19 May 2017

Wednesday, 17 May 2017

"I Love Canada!"

Who says Canadian business is not as competitive as U.S. ones?

Sure, the U.S. has great Happy Hours and real deals on beer & wine.

But so do we!

Here I went on The Beer Store website, and found some excellent sales.


Just look here [double click for a better view] on 12 cans of Bud Light you save.....wait a minute, doing the math, carry the 7.....a nickel!

Better than a kick in the pants.

And it's not only Bud Light.  You can get other great deals on other beer, too.



Okay, in this case, Bud.

Another nickel saved!  Sweet!

And if you like them Tall Boys - and who does't - you save 20 cents.  Ka-ching!  That's four freakin' nickels.

You get to drink beer and save money.   "O Canada!"

I figured no need to check any more and headed straight for the Beer Store.

See ya there.

Monday, 17 April 2017

Saturday, 15 April 2017

How Lazy Do You Have To Be.....



...To Need A Drive Thru Laundry?


If he didn't look bigger - and meaner - than me, I would have taken a picture of who actually is.  The guy in the Lexus dropping off his boxers.

Thursday, 13 April 2017

Knew It!


Based on an earlier post One Of These Things had a feeling one of his neighbours wasn't going to survive the winter.

And the winner is.....

Little dude on the left.




Because it wasn't long after the first post that the green Fence Of Death went up on that little guy.


And it won't be long before these guys just slide over next door and finish him off.


Okay, while I was sitting on my butt procrastinating on publishing this post, walked over yesterday and....

Boom boom, all gone.


Them wreckers shore make quick work them thar little bungalows.

Now the only question is, when does the next neighbour go?

Wednesday, 29 March 2017

Hey, I'm Working Here!

Even bugs are getting more than me!

I guess when you only live one day, you better get busy.

And in case you are thinking, that's two bugs?

Here's one feller by his lonesome.

Only 6 legs not 12.

And I guess a twist on the old joke would be;

"What's the fastest 12 legged game in town?"

"When it slips out".  Ba da boom......


And here there are again.  Taking a break, I guess.

But not too long!

Time's a ticking!

Thursday, 16 March 2017

Guess I'm Not The Only One

Ha ha. A day after I post that I wouldn't want this guy's job, in today's paper, somebody else feels the same way.

Give me an Excel spreadsheet and a PowerPoint presentation any day!

Wednesday, 15 March 2017

You Couldn't Pay Me Enough

....to do this guy's job.

This guy being Sean Spicer and the job being White House Press Secretary, under Donald Trump.

Whereas under Obama, the Press Secretary had to field questions such as "Do you actually realize how incredible the President is?" and "Do you just pinch yourself when you think that you are working for the President?"


To now, a daily barrage of.......


I used to think being a goalie was a tough job, because every time you make a mistake, a red light would go off over your head and a horn would blare.  [Ed. Note: it must have been pretty noisy - and bright - in the old UC's office.]

But that seems like a walk in the park compared to this job.

Sure, everybody expects stressful days once in a while.  A big presentation, or important meeting with your manager.

But knowing that everyday, when you stick your head in your "office" you will be greeted with....

....I hope he gets paid a lot!

On the plus side, I don't see any red lights behind him.  Maybe it's not as bad as I think.

Friday, 10 March 2017

Well Isn't That Special


My idea of special is half price beer or 2 for 1 Fireballs.

Yeah, baby!

Old Barbatella and I may not be on the same wavelength here.




And while I'm at it, $14 for frickin' cauliflower?!  As a side dish?

And you couldn't pay me $12 to eat Brussels Sprouts!

So let's slide on down the road a bit.....



Two Fireballs, please!

Thursday, 9 March 2017

Tuesday, 7 March 2017

I Stand Corrected


No sooner had I posted yesterday's post - One Of These Things, saying that the front yard tree looks dead, when I came across another dead looking tree.


But when I looked closer, that wascally wabbit wasn't dead.





Beautiful coral coloured flowers tucked right at the top.

So maybe there's hope for my Hounds Of The Baskerville tree......

Monday, 6 March 2017

"One Of These Things...." Part Deux

Another big ass house stuck onto a little lot.

Between two little guys.

I remembered this one because of the cool - but freaky - tree out front. (At least they didn't cut it down.)  See Do Not Go In There! for a better feel for it.  And pretty sure it is dead, too.

Looks like the Real Estate agent did just fine unloading that scary place.


Now This Is The Way You Do It
Just do a little addition.

Tuesday, 28 February 2017


How To Spot A Millionaire



[An oldie but a goodie.  Especially down here....]




Okay, maybe this is more like down here.......


Monday, 27 February 2017

Oh Sweet Mother Mary!


What type of freakish, demented mascot is this?



Looks like some kind of rabid, flying monkey.




If fact it looks suspiciously like one of those Wicked Witch flying monkeys that made me pee my pants lo those many years ago.

But I think I prefer the flying monkeys.

It likely scares young children, but may be an effective weapon for sports teams.

Maybe you don't want to line up across from some rabid football player. Or you may think twice before defending a demented point guard. Or, and most likely, reconsider standing beside some deranged, zombie college mascot with your tiny child. "Get in my belly!"

So if you ever find yourself in North Carolina with nothing to do, and thinking of going to their State University - don't do it!

Saturday, 25 February 2017

A Reasoned Response?


In today's hyper-partisan world, screaming and yelling has replaced thoughtful debate and discussion.

Used to be when folks disagreed, they discussed the issues calmly and rationally.

Well not anymore!

So I took issue with a recent letter to our local paper.  Instead of name calling, I thought I replied in a reasoned manner.



Original Letter




Reasoned Response?


Monday, 20 February 2017

Guess for Whom SW Florida Voted?


Gotta give those clever Marketers credit.

[Ed. Note:  It's President's Day in the US of A.  Of course, in New York & California, they are holding It's Not My President's Day rallies.  Also clever.]

Monday, 13 February 2017

"One Of These Things Is Not Like The Other"


You can stand on one leg all you like, but you're not fooling anyone, pal.

It's almost as if the guy to his left is looking at him, thinking, "Buddy, come on....."

[Double click the picture to get a better view.]

Friday, 10 February 2017

Out With The Old....




And In With The New




 And If Something's Good......

At the rate I go through these babies, better double up.



The Whole Team


 .....soon to be a smaller team, of course.......

In case you are thinking, What the hey is he going on about this time, then see   Da Da Da Daaaa Da

Friday, 3 February 2017

Tuesday, 31 January 2017

I Love America! (Likely about Part 25)


So had to pick up a friend at the airport yesterday.  Decided to wait in the Cell Phone Lot.

Wow, what a difference a country makes.

In Toronto, the Cell Phone is, let's say, more bare bones, where you wait in a gravel parking lot.  With the sign "No Services!" (I added the "!" but they might have well as added, "You're lucky you get this!".


Okay, it doesn't really look like this.

But it does look like this!


So in Florida, not only can you wait for your friend's flight, they have a gas station and a 7-11.



You can go to the can, buy a Slurpee, have a massage (I think that's called a Happy Landing), get your car washed and buy a bunch of stuff.




They also have all the departures and arrivals displayed on screens in the 7-11.


So what happens if you go to the Cell Phone Lot and you don't have a cell phone?

No problem!


And what happens if you go to the Cell Phone Lot and you're not drunk?

Also no problem!




Personally I prefer fresh water,  not just fresh tasting.

"Ha ha, Got ya!  We just spray Febreze in it."

Maybe this pic was taken in the Toronto lot....