Friday 18 April 2008

Bleh!

Sweet biscuits, what a mess.

Last weekend +24 Deg C and sunny. Now this - forecast to keep on coming for the next five days.

Everywhere you look, bleh and more bleh.

Actually this is one of the few times my piece of crap camera actually enhances the feel of the shot. Way to go, little buddy.

The old folks will be staying inside this weekend. [Picture of local old folks home.]

Now you might be thinking, why didn't he wait for five days and take a picture then. When it would really look like something.

Well if I did, it would look like palm trees and bikinis, as I'm off down south tomorrow. Tee hee, aren't I a scamp.....

And aren't I sounding like I drink from the other side of the cup? Not that there's anything wrong with that.........

Wednesday 16 April 2008

Tuesday 15 April 2008

Hell Ya!

Keep yer sissified vehicles outta of here. Only want them diesel spewing behemoths.

Monday 14 April 2008

Brand New

Good news; they just opened up a new health centre in downtown Calgary. Bad news; and closed the old one two blocks from me (below).

From the brochure they sent around, this place has got all your standard services you would expect for a modern city; Wound Clinic, Communicable Disease Unit, Harm Reduction Team, Aboriginal Mental Health Clinic, Intravenous Infection Therapy. Gee, sounds like Disney World.

Hey, what if I have a sore throat? Oh, end of the line for you.

Man, the money I pay for services other people use. Don't get me started.....


The old place. Now this is where you could use a good Wound Clinic.

And where's our new Needle Exchange bucket. [Click here for a refresher]

Sunday 13 April 2008

Last But Not Least

Went to my final lacrosse game of the season last night. And the local boys didn't disappoint.

We (okay, they) whupped up on the boys from the north (Edmonton) 18-7.

As this was a follow up to last weekend's loss to the same guys in Eggmonton, a couple of good scraps were mandatory.

But why were they going at it at the other end? My little camera has a hard enough time taking crummy shots when things are up close and personal.

And my little 14 year old cameraman/girlie was back at her post again. [Jump to first camera girlie encounter]

This time we engaged in duelling cameras. Maybe she's getting evidence for a harassment lawsuit. Ha ha, all in good fun.

Don't know if I was on the Jumbotron here taking a picture of her. Hard to dispute that evidence in court. Ha ha gulp.

Also met the parents of the 15 year old, ubercool dude who sits beside me. "You must be the old guy that our son talks about." [Jump to first ubercool encounter]

Great, it wasn't my imagination he thought I was a doofus. What do kids know.

I thought this was a novel advertizing gimmick.

The urinal screen shot here (boy, those guys never fail to get bent out of shape when I whip out the camera in there) says "Out of Order - Screen Smashed At Last Hitmen Game". [Hitmen are the Calgary WHL team] So I assumed the message was, come to a Hitmen game and there'll be lots of action.

That was until I came back later in the game and three screens still had the same "ad". Then I noticed that these were typed and pasted on the screens. I guess they did get smashed at the last game.

Hmmm, still a pretty effective marketing idea, intentionally or not.

Doubt if that happens in Toronto too much. Hard to smash a screen with a sushi roll.

The final bit of silliness from last night was the half time show. They had a game of musical chairs. I thought how low do they go with some of these sad ideas.

That was until we noticed it was lacrosse players in the game. As soon as the music started, they started beating on each other. Slowly at first, but as the game built and the chairs got fewer it got rougher and more hilarious.

When the music stopped, each guy would literally dive on the nearest chair and the rest of the guys piled on top. Whichever jersey number the ref could read (ie. furthest from the chair) was told "Y'er out, 42!".

A good end to a good season. Thanks, 'necks.

Nice Try

Another in the continuing series of "Nice Bars in my Neighborhood" (although I'm thinking of changing it to, bars in my neighborhood).

They were able to completely renovate this local establishment..... except for the customers.

They put in new everything (well, almost everything - they left the faded, stained, smoke laden carpet and the pool tables) in an attempt to go upscale.

And a new front facade - hey, the old girl don't look too bad. But look up facade in the dictionary: an artificial or deceptive front. Bingo.

So it's hard for a leopard to change its spots.

One reason for the change might have been that they are attached to a Holiday Inn Express. So tired businessmen and women probably thought, great I can get a nice Caesar Salad and a glass of Merlot.

Wrong! You can get hassled by drunks and eat pickled eggs.

But at least they are trying to change.

Saturday 12 April 2008

Knowing Target Market

But they do know who their true customers are.

Because for Sunday Brunch, the special is $4.50 Caesar's (although they spell it Ceaser's - but who's nitpicking).

Perfect timing, too, because the local shelters kick guys out at 11 am. Just in time to Caesar the day.

Who Do You Believe?

Let's hope somebody doesn't switch bags on you.

Actually, I took this to get the cute girl walking by. Hubba hubba...... And had to quickly make up this feeble parking story.

What A Difference A Days Makes

Okay, two [I was busy yesterday].

A beautiful day, the kind you'd like to toast - with thanks to Jimmy Buffett [1].

And, if the weatherpeople (let's not forget to slag the gals, too) don't have another collective brain cramp like this week, it should be +20 on the weekend.

But forgive me if I don't put away my snow tires/boots/shovel/gloves/blower/men just yet.

Note [1]:
We were tree top flying, moving west along the coast
Then we landed in the water, just about my favorite thrill
When some &*%hole started firing as we taxied to Negril
- from Jimmy Buffett's Jamaica Mistaka - I'm heading there next week.

Thursday 10 April 2008

It's Beginning To Look Like.......

..the middle of April in Calgary. Weather forecast said there was a slight chance of light rain. I see....

We got 23 centimetres of the white stuff! Broke a 96 year record. City officials are now worried about flooding - and rapid freezing. And why not add a plague of locusts o'er the land.

We were planning for near 20 on the weekend. What's up?

I guess Mother Nature said, "Did I say it was going to be 20? Do you know what it's going to be like on the weekend?" And we said, no we don't. "You're freakin' right you don't!" [Maybe she didn't say that. But I bet that's what she felt like saying to us.]

But by mid day, it was bright and sunny. The snow melted, joggers were out, I went for a swim in the river.

By 3pm, another blizzard hit and was still at it as I left work.

On the walk home, inside of course, it was now just getting slushy and nasty. Not inside, of course.

By the time I got home, bright and sunny. I didn't go swimming again.

What a funny little city.

Wednesday 9 April 2008

I Guess So!

Or..."Watch your twig and berries."

I wonder how many people (I'm thinking guys) walked right into this before they thought to put the sign up?

The railing is just out there on the sidewalk. Whew - I'm glad I can read.

Monday 7 April 2008

As Predicted

Can I call 'em? [Jump to incredible call] And then to [this] one.

And that didn't take long either to put up the contrete protector. I guess the voice of experience spoke loudly.

And the plastic wrapping around the, likely new, card reader leads me to believe someone already smashed, crashed, flattened it.

Sunday 6 April 2008

A New Low....

...in picture quality/fog of life. I really outdid myself this time. But, I didn't even take the picture.

At a group get together, we got out the cameras and a friend's daugther snapped the shots. When she came to my camera-thingy, she grimaced and looked over at me. She said, I don't know if this is going to work.

So she started pushing buttons on the phone. I asked what she was doing. Her eyes widened as she looked at me, "like I'm adjusting the brightness of your camera?" I said, hey how did you do that? That's neato.

You know, it doesn't take much for teenagers to think adults are complete morons, and I'm happy to report, I didn't disappoint her.

Are You Stinking?

A novel, yet not always appreciated, method to drum up dry cleaning business?

Is it working? I've never gone there (which might be another issue completely).

Saturday 5 April 2008

I've Never Seen Such Wind Out Here

Good Fun

Had the Aryan Nation or Guard, or whatever you call those freaks, marching by my house the other weekend. Holding up swastika banners and chanting their slogans.

There they are all huddled at the corner, with police vans and SWAT guys almost outnumbering them.

Now there weren't all that many of them - marching under my window - but it doesn't take many to get folks all riled up.

In fact, far more raucous and raunchy were the Anti-Racism (freaks?) following them and harassing them the whole way. They are still back at the corner in this snap. Getting ready to rumble.

Here they are chasing the skinheads down (my!!) street. Good grief, what a neighborhood.

Methinks a few rabble rousers had joined in - the type that just enjoys a good fight, regardless of what the cause is. You wouldn't think good anti-racism true bloods would be bonking anyone over the head. But these guys really seemed to enjoy it.

And from the looks of both groups, I'm sure they liberally availed themselves of the wares of a lot of our street entrepreneurs. [Hey! Don't be calling them crackheads or drug dealers.]

And they say the Junos will bring a lot of money into the city. Ha, I bet our local boys made out like, well, bandits. Tourism is great for the economy.

Thursday 3 April 2008

Good Advice

But not really sure who this sign is meant for.

Do bears park in the woods?

Maybe they just mean there is absolutely no way you can park here. And don't think about parking in the CEO's spot either.

Hey Little Buddy

Sure, he looks cute. Almost ate my camera.

Had to go to Banff last week for business. Well, I guess not all business.

These little fellas are all over the place. And if you don't feed them, they'll head butt you. But they didn't get me. Ha ha, I ran too fast.

One of our guys tried to feed them - broccoli. They don't like broccoli. He won't try that again.

[I should have been thinking to take a picture of him so you could see. But I wasn't, so I didn't, so you can't.]

We had a woman from Bangkok at our meeting. We were getting ready for dinner and wondered where she was.

I looked out the window and saw her frozen about 30 feet from the door. We waved to her - but she wouldn't move - maybe she thought they were bears. Guess you don't get many deer in downtown Bangkok. Or bears.

But some pretty impressive scenery. Mountains on all sides. We had our own little chalet for our meetings - lower left.

Not bad work if you can get it.

Wednesday 2 April 2008

I'd Hate To See Where The Janitor Parks


Skid School

So my boss tells me I'm going to Skid School. I said, are you nuts? [Well, I almost said that.] I said I don't need skid school, I skid all the time. I don't have any snow tires. I'm all over the road, baby. I could teach that course.

But he wouldn't listen to reason, so I went.

[Ed note: the tiny pictures are kind of cute.]

Skid School - Part Deux

So here we are at the "track" - with the demon "skid truck". This baby's back end kicks out more than me after a burrito dinner. And boy, did it kick out.

Here one of us is drifting around the track. I apparently drifted more than most. At the end of my session, our instructor looked at me nicely and said, if we have time at the end, I'll let you try it again. Thanks.

I said it was probably because I was going to fast. She said, when you're not doing it right, it doesn't matter how fast you are going. Thanks again.

And good thing we were here when all the bikers were out murdering or I could imagine them saying, Hey Skid Boy, we'll get you to skid something and it won't be that truck.

Tuesday 1 April 2008

I'm Back, Baby!

Let there be light!

Looks like my ICAP Error thing was a time-out/size limitation kind of thing. So I can only post small pictures or post small copies of large pictures.

Great, with my piece of crap camera, the last thing I need to do is post small copies of crummy pictures. Of course, on the plus side, I doubt anyone will notice any difference.