Friday, 29 January 2016

Über Duber!

Going to a sporting event - at which some adult beverages may be consumed - so decided hired transportation was the way to go.

However, the last time we did that, it was a $70 cab ride!

That was almost (almost) as much as we spent on those adult beverages.

So this time we decided to experiment and see what all the fuss was about and try Über.


So not only do you do this all on-line.... can track your driver's approach - street by street - know his name, see his picture and the type of car he drives...

...and (and this is the best part) know what it will cost you before you even get in the cab!  (Is it still called a cab?)

But is that such an unusual concept, to know what something costs before you buy it?

In what other industry - besides the taxi industry - do you only find out what something costs after you get there?

What if you were flying to Cancun and you ask air Canada, "What's the price of the flight?" and she answers you, "Well, you'll find out after we get there. Like everybody else."

"Could be headwinds, the price of gas, how many other people are on board."

What if you go to a nice restaurant and you ask, "How much is the sirloin?"

"Buddy, you'll find out at the end of the meal."

So after these two experiences (including the ride back - although the little girl driver we had on the way back might not think it is such a great job....) - bye bye cabbies.

This is one destructive technology that ain't going away.

Oh yeah, and about that best part.  The $70 cab ride was now.......$16.

That's über duper!

Monday, 18 January 2016

Surveying The Aftermath.....

So once the sun came out and the wind died down, decided to see what was left standing.

A few tree branches down.

That's to be expected.

But the TV anchors said we got the highest winds in SW Florida, with gusts up to 85 mph.

But This Is An Outrage
 These leafy things should be cleaned up by now!

Guess Mother Nature is making an editorial comment about which papers she likes.

The Sea Was Angry That Day My Friend
Apparently we got hit with a meteotsunami.

A meteotsunami is a tsunami, not caused by earthquakes, but by extreme low pressures and high winds.

Who knew.

I guess these two sailboats knew.

[Post Script;  a pic of these boats also make the local paper today.]

And this one.

And this one.

And there's always one lunatic around, kite boarding.

You can see him, just about ten feet out of the water here.

Mother Nature also took a bite out of the beach.

Hard to get too upset when it's in front of a 0.01% 'ers home.

Here it took part of the roof off a building.

Okay, this is a building under renovation - I'm cheating.

This is soon to be a building under renovation - our next door neighbours.

They actually did lose part of their roof.

So no major catastrophes. [Here anyway.  Two people were killed when a tornado did touch down further north.]

Just a lot of good stories exchanged with every stranger you meet on the street.....

Sunday, 17 January 2016

Holy Freakin' Toto, Dorothy!

About 5:15 this morning, woke out of a deep sleep to hear a weird, horn sound.  Sounded kinda of like my fire alarm, but nothing I've heard before.  Like an old fashioned car horn, "Ahoooooga"!

And it was coming from beside right my head.  My phone. 

I thought, what drunken friend is texting me at five in the morning!

Then I looked the text - only five words;

"Tornado Warning!  Take Shelter Now!"

Holy bleep!

Rain was pounding and the wind was howling.

I was worried I was about to be staring God in the face if I lost my roof.  Not the way I envisioned meeting Him.  "How's it going?  You should go to church more often."

After I changed my pajamas and got the TV working (had lost power for a while it) was 5:34am.

The lower right corner lets you know a Tornado Warning is in effect for the area outlined in red.

No shit, Sherlock!

If that red warning area is hard to see (it is seared into my brain) I've enlarged it, above.

And to let you know where the Urban one was cowering, it was (still is, luckily) the little blue dot above the "p" in Naples.

The only saving grace of this was that this storm was movin'!

The TV anchors said it was traveling at over 60 miles per hour! 

One big, bad Mama!

But aside from some trees branches down, I was in the pool an hour and a half later.  (Eye of the what?)

And all I had to do was fish out one lawn chair and one very soggy gecko.  And a few electrical wires.  Just kidding - I left them.

And although geckos have a propensity to bolt when you get within about five feet of them, this little guy just sat on the side of the pool, staring at me.

His head and paws (?), hands/legs/arms? were propped up on a tiny concrete ledge.

I poked him in the nose and said "Go on".  He just sat there, staring.

But after a few laps, he was gone.

And slowly neighbours, like Prairie dogs, cautiously starting coming out of their lairs.

"Did you get that text?  Oh my my my!"  (We have a lot of mid-westerners here.)

But now the sun is shining and the world is still turning.

And I'm guessing the next time that gecko gets a text, he won't be taking shelter in the pool.  Oh my my my.....

Wednesday, 13 January 2016

"If I Had A Billion Dollars"

With apologies to the Bare Naked Ladies, but they might need to write a new song.

If you won this billion dollar Powerball Lotto, can you imagine how many people would be all over you, asking, begging, demanding money.  

Charities would camp out on your doorstep.  

You would find out about relatives you never ever heard of.  Angry, entitled relatives.

What would I do with a billion dollars?  Probably shoot myself in the head.

Now if a friend won, that's different!  Especially a very smart, good looking, intelligent friend. Well, not a friend, more of a brother. A twin, really.

I'm sure he would be generous.  Very generous, if you get my drift.

In fact, that son of bitch better....ah ha ha...never mind, whatever he thinks is fair.   It's all good...friend.

Good luck.  You.....

Whee! Getting Old Is Fun!

This guy looks like he's having a blast!

And this guy, too, scooting around on the beach and all.

Only thing missing is, it should be motorized.

Oh, and have a cooler.

And, of course, hot babes!

But once you are seen tooling around on one of these beauties, oh, the babes will come.  The babes will come.

Friday, 8 January 2016

That's Sounds Like How I Would Translate Into Spanish

Come on, that can't be right.

No flotan?

I never knew Spanish was so easy.

"Amigo, some uhhh...beeros."

"You speak Spanish very well, senior."

Wednesday, 6 January 2016

Livin' In The Land Of The Free!

So I had to get a key made.

And wanted to get a key chain to go with it.

So, always a nice idea if you can dangle your key from a Small Bullet key-chain or a Shotgun Shell key-chain.

[The  Shotgun Shell key-chain looks to be more popular.]

Or, if that doesn't do it for you, dangle it from a regular old gun key-chain.

I didn't check if you could put several of the small bullet key-chains inside the gun key-chain but figure somebody has.

If that's not enough, you can get the actual key cut in your favourite shape.

So in addition to cute umbrellas, palm trees and hammers (?), there was, of course, a sniper rifle.

I guess if you are ever in a tight situation and left home without your real gun, you could always try threatening the bad guy with your key.  "Back off, buddy."

Then while brandishing your key at buddy, you quickly unlock your front door and you're in!

Way better than waving an umbrella, or even a hammer, at him.

Sunday, 3 January 2016

Shouldn't It Be Something Like Rice Cake Night

Unless this is a strategy to ensure long customers. 

Like dentists handing out candy.

Well whaddya know........

Friday, 1 January 2016

Aaaaaand We're Back

When we last left this little guy.....

He had been reduced to......

See D'oh! for a refresher.

And While We Were Gone for an update. 

Well now, like the Phoenix (or two Phoenix's or Phoenii) he has been reborn!

Into two houses.

Although houses seems inadequate to describe these....houses.

I think our little buddy could fit comfortably in the garage of House #1.

In fact, that is just about where he was located in his previous life.

House #2, around the corner, but on the same lot.

And both houses.

Who needs a back yard.  Or a front yard.

What Are You Laughing About?
Hey next door neighbour - you're next!