Thursday, 30 September 2010

Good Luck, L'il Buddy....

....getting some water into your roots.

The city spends millions planting trees. And then I'm guessing millions more replanting the ones that die because of stunts like this.

That cement and stone there keeping this guy from running away.

There, isn't this more like the home all nice city trees should have?

Okay, as we moved on farther, some smarty pants pointed out that the first tree will actually be getting some water to those dry old roots, through this fancy irrigation system once the cement and stone cover is applied.

That's all well and nice, but wouldn't it be better - and a whole lot cheaper - just to put dirt and grass around this guy?

And what's the over/under before the magical underground irrigation system stops working. Good luck fixing that.

Aiy yi yi. No wonder my city taxes are so high. Rob Ford where are you?

I Kid You Not

As documented in an earlier post, I was gobsmacked (when am I not) by the fact although a blueberry container said "Product of Canada", the little buggers were actually conceived and grown in Naples, Florida.

See "Sneaky Mr. Blueberry" for details of gobsmacking post.

Histrionics aside, current point is that in Canada I have to buy Naples blueberries. But while recently in Naples, I went into the grocery store and saw some tasty looking blueberries.

And where were they grown?

....Canada! Abbotsford, B.C. I couldn't believe it!!

As I waved the offending box of blueberries I started telling the woman beside me the crazy story.

Her eyes widened as I went on, not, unfortunately, because I am a good story teller, but because she apparently only spoke German. [Although the German and English words for "Security!" sound remarkably the same.]

Now although the idea that to reduce your carbon footprint you must buy local has been generally debunked as far too simplistic (transportation represents only a small portion of the Total Lifecycle Carbon Emissions, dwarfed by production emissions) that little fruit fandango does seem rather strange to me.

Why not sell the Naples berries to Neapolitans and Canadian berries to Canucks?

I Love America!!

All day! All night! Every day! 2 for 1!


What else could they add? Free girls?

If this place was north of the 49th parallel, the Canadian no-fun police would make their heads spin.

Well, at least we get to eat their damn blueberries.

He's No Dummy. Or Is He?

Although this guy claims he is married to all four women, he is in fact, according to the article, only married to one. Guess which one....

Yup. Second from the right. Cute little blondie. No dummy.

Regarless of how happy they all are together, when push comes to shove - and it may after the authorities watch their reality TV show - he might just have to say, "Sorry, ladies, Marti and I are outta here".

So he's no dummy. Or is he?

My pea brain can't imagine being married to one woman, let alone four. No offense to all the women in the world. [Ed note: I'm pretty sure the feeling is mutual.]

But four wives? Four job jars?

"Where do you think you're going?"
"Brother Lars and I are participating in an outdoor sporting endeavour today, darling."
"You're not golfing today. You're grouting the bathroom. But not before you re-sod Bertha's root cellar and tend to de-worming Helga's sheep."

This guy also has 13 children and four step children. Daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy!!

Good luck, buddy.

I'll let you know who wins the Packers/Vikings game.....

Monday, 13 September 2010

Yeah, Right.....

....she's got arthritis.

They should put me on that magazine cover!

[Ed note: Guys like you, who have arthritis, are not going to buy a magazine with guys like you on the cover.]

Sunday, 12 September 2010

Post Game Party? a Jays game?

No, in spite of the dead soldiers in the foreground, this snap was actually taken during a game.

Below is a shot when the game is really, truly over. But not much of a difference.

But from the number of fans in the stands - or the number not in the stands - it is hard to tell if a game is really on or those people simply wandered in by mistake.

Now, your intrepid reporters were forced to order several additional live soldiers in order to obtain this rare footage. You're welcome.

Sad times for the Jays though. 10,000 was the announced crowd - can you call that a crowd?

But not for everyone. During a recent Yankee game, they were bemoaning the fact they had only 44,000 that night. The lowest night of the year. And, gee, who were they playing?

Yes, Yankees are first in attendance this year, but amazingly, the Jays are not last. They're actually 25th out of 30 teams!

Kansas City, Pittsburgh, Miami, Oakland and Cleveland are all worse.

But when you factor in road attendance, where the Jays really get spanked, they are dead last.

Yea!!! At least we lead the majors in something!

Hmmmm...Good Question

Now every time I walk in someone's backyard, I'm going to be asking that question.

Or think about having a picnic in a public park. Or sit on grass anywhere.

I'm going to count the number of dogs around, multiply this by ten (at least the number of times each one pees), multiply it again by ten just for good measure and then go somewhere else.

Maybe a nice outdoor patio.......

Saturday, 11 September 2010

Another One Bites The Dust


The last of the real bad boys has gone corporate.

Complete with 1-800-GOT-BLOOD? on the doors.

Lestat would be appalled....

Monday, 6 September 2010

Who'd A Thunk It?

As regular readers of this blog, both of you know that I tend to rail against heritage buildings being torn down to make way for....what? Anybody....anybody....?

Huge honkin' condos.

So as I am looking out my window at the site of the latest proposed indignity - twin 27 story tower behemoths going up across the street from me! - I finally noticed a fairly nondescript, small brick warehouse like structure in the background.

As I maneuvered to get a better view, it started to look slightly more interesting, tucked in amongst the trees.

The huge, bright windows of this structure now started to make it look very interesting.

Now I've already been a big Group Of Seven fan, particularly Lawren Harris.

My folks gave me a great print of his a while back.

And wouldn't you know it, I've stumbled into Lawren Harris Park! Just steps from the Urban Cowboy Park....errr...condo.


And there is a plaque just outside the building.

Now if that ain't Canadian heritage, I don't know what is!

But oh oh....

As soon as some Toronto developers read this, that place is doomed!

Luckily, the secret is safe on this blog.

[Where else on the Internet can you get this kind of privacy?]

But until then, I'll make a few more trips down the hill to enjoy its simplicity and light.

Until the current artists in residence shoo me away.....

That's m' Name

Saturday, 4 September 2010